Working Mom Confessions

You can see the hope and dreams in our eyes as we prepared to graduate from the College Prep program.

    I’ve always been a worker bee.  From the moment that I was able to go out to work, I did so with gusto.  It’s not that my parents forced me to go out and work or made me pay bills but they were just making it financially and I knew they could not stretch their budget anymore to accommodate my adolescent needs.  As they say, “Necessity is the mother of invention,” so out of the need to assert my independence and financial freedom, I went to work at 16.

    My first job was at Consumers which was a retail store chain that was very popular here in New York City during the early nineties.  I felt like a million bucks working as a cashier there and I would cash my weekly check at the local check cashing place.  There was such a sense of pride for me in being able to earn and spend my own money that it was intoxicating.

    Consumers eventually went out of business so I worked at McDonald’s during my senior year in high school to be able to pay my graduation expenses.  That was a very interesting job, to say the least, but I did get to meet a lot of wonderful people while I was there.  I was able to fund everything from the prom to my cap and gown with the money that I earned.

From the moment I graduated from High School, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life.

    Many of my coworkers there were decent, hardworking people trying to make it despite what society thought about them working in a fast food restaurant.  It was just another milestone and learning experience in my life that made me the person that I am today.  Since then, I have worked as a Data Entry Operator, Chocolatier, Insurance Salesperson, Office Manager, Teacher, and Blogger.

    I like to work and I’m not ashamed to say it.  Sure, you will hear me grumble every morning about having to get up early to go to work and complain about never hitting the lotto.  I might even confess that I sometimes hate my job not because of my students but because of the bureaucracy that impedes me from teaching my way and forces me to spend more time on paperwork than on actually teaching.  However, there is still nothing like the feeling of being self-sufficient.

    My only one regret is that, during my tenure as a Working Mom, I’ve somehow deprived my sons of something that they deserve more than anyone else-my undivided time and attention.  While I’ve worked hard to try to find balance between being a mother and having a career, the reality is that there is never truly balance.  I would like to think that my children have always been ahead when you tally the percentages between the two but something always suffers.

There is nothing like a mother’s love for her children.

    In this case, my personal time as a woman has suffered and I have essentially sacrificed a part of who I am as an individual to give all of me to being a mother and an educator.  But don’t feel sorry for me because there is nothing like having it all and, even if I really don’t, I feel like I do and that is the only thing that truly matters.

Let’s Discuss:  How has working outside of the home affected your role as a mother or a parent?

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Comments

  1. Robin Rue says

    I stopped working outside of the home right before my second son was born. It was cheaper for me to stay home at that time than pay for daycare. I ended up landing an actual work at home job shortly after and have been doing that ever since.

  2. coupontammy says

    This is a really good post. I think it hits home with all of us mother’s. I totally understand about you saying you gave up part of yourself as a women. When was the last time you did something that was just for you? I have given up the same things. I would not trade one minute of my time just to have more me time. My kids are the best thing I have done with my life. I work so my kids can have a nice home and go to college and not start out their lifes in debt.

  3. Jennifer Williams says

    I was lucky enough to have a job where I worked from home with my oldest, I was a single mom and had to work but I loved that I could be there for him. When my youngest was born, we tried daycare but it did not work out for us. He and I were both so miserable that I finally quit my job to stay home. I loved what I did outside the home but I was needed here more and this job is more important. I think it is great for people who can handle both working outside the home and taking care of their family, It just is not for me. Nobody should ever feel guilty for their decisions though, we all do what we feel is best for our entire family!

  4. Journeysof TheZoo says

    I’m a SAHM and I still find that there isn’t enough of me. I feel guilty when I take time for me even though I know that I deserve and need it. And my kids need time to themselves. All the things they didn’t tell us about becoming parents…

    Besos, Sarah
    Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo

  5. when I was 15 my parents told me that if I wanted money to do stuff then I had to go find a job. It was a great move on their part because it taught me about having a job, time management, and how to manage my own money. Now that I’m an adult, I don’t have a problem with those things and I see a lot of ppl around me having problems due to there inability to manage these things. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Rebecca Bryant says

    I’m the opposite I had great plans for a future of being a worker in a large cooperate place when I got sick and had to be house bound for years. Now I feel like sometimes I missed out on making outside connections but then i see my son and realize I wouldn’t change a thing.

  7. I’m not a mother yet. However, I know that my overworking and freelancing-on-the-side has taken away time from my partner and it is upsetting when I think back on the amount of time I spent focused on my work/academics/career over the importance of being with someone I love. And yet, I love being busy… So I fully understand what you mean!

  8. I’ve worked outside the home and I’ve worked from home. I feel like when I worked outside the home, it was easier for me to focus on the kids when I got home. And now that I work at home, I never miss anything important but I never quite forget about work, either.

  9. Adrianne Grant says

    I worked in the corporate world for 7 years and when my oldest was 7 I stayed home. Partly due to economics and being sick. The grass always seems greener, I will tell you that no one has it all its how you make due with the cards that God dealt you. I think you are doing an amazing job.

  10. Motivating Mommy says

    You sound a lot like me. I started working at 15 my first job was at Chick-fil-a my parents hated the idea. My mom was totally against me working but she refused to buy me the stuff I wanted like name brand anything so my solution was to get a job and I have been working my butt off ever since.

  11. amanda ripsam says

    since I been a mom I’ve not been able to work due to suitations but I feel being a mom is full time duty and I admire moms who can do both it is exhausting staying at home I can’t imagine being even more exhausted.

  12. I quit my job as a teacher when my daughter was young because she was sick all the time. Now that I blog, I think I do pretty well at balancing time between family and my job.

  13. I am with you when it comes to work. I try to work as much as I can but only around my girls schedule. The kids come first 🙂

  14. Anne Newsome says

    Well I do not work outside the home but I did before having kids. I do know what a difficult balance it is though. I do work PT from my home and it’s always challenging as a mom to find the right balance between all of your responsibilities, because truly, keeping a house up the way it should be AND raising children are a full time job on their own.

    I also home school so add that one in … motherhood is equally rewarding and challenging whether a mom works outside the home or not. And I think it is great for teens to work because it helps them learn more responsibility and hopefully some important things about managing money, too. 🙂

  15. Working makes me more efficient. Definitely more appreciative of the time that I have with my family too.

  16. Couldn’t have said it better! I’d love to have balance, too, but even as a WAHM, that’s incredibly difficult to achieve.

    I have little doubt, that you care for and put your family first. You are an amazing woman, Maria! And you always seem to have your heart focused in the right place. I hope that I’m gifting my children in the same way and always keep them as the top priority, guiding many of my decisions.

  17. Curby Aardvark says

    I really respect how much you love your family and put them first; that’s amazing and you’re without a doubt you’re an incredible woman! 😀

  18. Thrill of the Chases says

    It seems no matter what moms choose there is guilt involved. I think as long as we make consistent good choices we will look back at a life well lived.

  19. I kind of feel like you do. I enjoyed working but yet would complain at times too. I worked for a very large school district for almost 25 years and I know it is the bureaucracy that gets you the most. Not the students. I did my best to make sure that my kids had a balanced life and that is all you can do. They are adults now and seem to be well adjusted so I guess it all worked out.

  20. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says

    I never worked outside the home while raising the kids, so I can’t answer that question. But I can absolutely see how it would be a tough balancing act.

  21. Veronica Solomon says

    Oh boy! I have pretty much been a single mom throughout my whole mommy career. I divorced by daughter’s father when she was just 6 months old, I remarried a couple of years later, had my son and my husband passed away a couple of years after that. All in all I have raised my kids by myself for many years, juggling kids activities, entrepreneurship – which for me is full time work and working outside of the home. Let’s jut say that I am super happy that my kids are older now and are quite a bit more self sufficient. I finally have a boyfriend now because my kids don’t need all my attention anymore. It is tough juggling for sure

  22. Thank you for sharing this. I didn’t get my first job till I was 20 but that’s because my family didn’t allow me to. I’ve always worked in the customer service field. I like it but I do wish I could win the lottery already! As of now I’m back to doing 9-5 and working my butt off and like you, I feel like I’m not giving my kid all my attention and I find it unfair too.

  23. Meagan Bailiff says

    thank you for sharing. this is something i harbor a lot of guilt about. I feel like i don’t have time to do everything i should as a wife and mother because I work a full time job.

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