Increasing Communication Between You And Your Tween


    Wouldn’t it be great to increase communication between you and your tween? The question is: how do you make that happen? Communication is an important part of parenting, no matter what stage you are at. Here are some tips to help you make increased communication a reality.

Have a Date Night

    Spend time one-on-one with your tween. Some parents refer to this as a mommy-daughter date night or a father-son date night. It’s just a special night where the parent and tween spend time together. This is a time for you to know what’s going on with your tween and to hear what they have to say without much interruption.

Talk About It

    It seems as though talking about things is such a thing of the past. Families are too busy with life that they forget to chat and catch up. Talking about life is one way to increase communication between you and your tween. It’s possible to understand what’s going on in your tween’s life, you just have to make that effort. After a while, they’ll see you genuinely care and the communication lines will be open even further.


Create Mini Goals

    A relationship doesn’t happen overnight and it takes time to establish trust along with that relationship. Create mini goals to help establish communication. For example: in six months you’d like to be able to talk to your tween about their relationships without any hostility. Or you might set a goal for being able to talk about certain subjects without getting into an argument or anyone getting upset. Write these mini goals down for your own personal use. If you don’t reach the goal that’s okay but it’s wise to have it in place.

Be Open, Honest, & Transparent

    It’s hard for your tween to increase the communication lines when you’re not even doing it. It’s important to be open, honest, and transparent so they will do the same.

Let’s Discuss:  What are some tips you have for increasing communication between you and your tween?

© 2015, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.


  1. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says

    My tween has been awfully moody lately, but I find that if I sit him down and give him my full attention, he opens up more.

  2. This is such a tough age. Always leave the door open, is what I’ve learned.

    • Jennifer Williams says

      Leaving the door opened worked so well for our family. Making a one on one date night with our teenager was the times my son would open up to us.

  3. Excellent topic. It can be hard to find something that you want to do together, but you have to work at it so that the tween is interested, too. Good post, thanks.

    • Robin (Masshole Mommy) says

      I’ve been struggling with that this summer. Nothing I take the kids to do is cool enough.

  4. These are awesome tips. I always make it a point to have a date night with my tween. We both look forward to this and we always end up having so much fun.

  5. I agree that it’s little steps and long-term that get you to where you need to be with a teen. My daughter is giving me a run for my money lately, but we’ll get through a-okay. 🙂

  6. This is so important! My parents always made sure that we knew we could come to them with ANYTHING…good or bad. That made for some very secure teen years on my part!

  7. What some awesome ideas, I wasn’t a very communicative tween or teen! x

  8. Communication is so important. Oh you think it is bad with Tweens? Wait until you have a teen. Oh my goodness, between not talking and the “attitude” I might go insane. lol

  9. Catherine S says

    These are great tips. My son likes to talk to me when we are in the car, but when we are at home he prefers to talk to dad. At this point I will take anytime I can get.

  10. Both of my kids are out of the ‘tween stage now. I remember how hard it was to communicate with them sometimes though!

  11. That was something I worked on really hard as the kids were in their teen years. Listening, just listening is something worth doing!

  12. LateLy my tween doesn’t want to do anything but sit online and play his virtual game. So we’ve been having to take computer time away, I try talking to him, watching movies with him etc. I think I’m gonna have to take him out for a walk and talk…. He isn’t very communicating at the moment.

  13. This is great advice! I am NOT looking forward to tween years!

  14. Great tips for parents of tweens or upcoming tweens! I recommend getting a head start haha.

  15. I have an almost-4-year-old, rather than a tween. I still do many of these things. Tonight we had mommy-son date night because I’ve been so busy lately. I try to make sure I can give him undivided attention at times, so he feels like he can talk to me.

  16. Great advice! My boys are still really small, but I will keep this in mind. It’s very helpful.

  17. I’ve found that when I take my son out to do something that he loves we talk a whole lot more, whether it’s on the way there or on the way back. Great tips here!

  18. Jennifer Williams says

    My oldest son is 18 now and from when he was 3 we had date night. I think all those date nights are what kept the communication lines open – sometimes too open but to much info from a teenager is better than none.

  19. These are great things to do to increase communication with your child. My kids are still at the age where they talk to me, but I dread a time when they won’t want to.

  20. Veronica says

    It looks like you have a great relationship with your kids. It is so important to keep the lines of communication open

  21. Remembering what is was like to be that age is the best thing you can do to keep lines of communication open. Growing up is hard.

  22. All these are wonderful ideas. Communication is the very important factor to have a good relationship with your tweens. My kids are too small, but I will keep this in my mind for future. Your tips are going to be very helpful for parents with tweens!

  23. eliz frank says

    You offered very good tips/suggestions on how to traverse that potential minefield called communicating with tees; but it’s doable. As you pointed out, we need to have goals in mind and make the necessary effort to make our teens feel safe, not judged and encouraged…. it takes work.

  24. My son is almost a tween. I am trying so hard to make sure we talk now so that he can still feel comfortable talking to me in the future.

  25. Yes I agree…one on one is very important when it comes to our children. We must dedicated time for them to know that their special and worthy to be heard.

  26. Megan @ C'mon Get Crafty says

    Oh no, tween years! My oldest if turning five in a few months, so I’ve got some time yet, but I know it will fly by so fast!

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