This weekend, I had the pleasure of celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary with my In-Laws. They celebrated this special milestone with their three children and three out of their four grandchildren. It was heartwarming to see how much in love they still are with one another after being together for so many years. I could tell by their beaming smiles how happy they were to be surrounded by their kids and grandkids and it really made me reflect on what they both have meant to me since Hubby and I have been together. You see, although my Mother In Law Donna is technically my husband's stepmother, she has always treated me like a daughter and always made me feel like part of the family. Additionally, my husband has never considered her anything less than his mother. In light of the fact that my husband's biological mother does not speak to me or to my children, the fact that Donna has stepped into both the roles of Mother in Law to me and grandmother to our boys … [Read more...]
I’m Done Trying-The Mother In Law Chronicles
Since becoming a mother, my perspective on a lot of things has changed considerably. I suppose bringing new life into the world has its ways of shuffling your priorities. It's no secret that I have never had a close relationship with my Mother In Law. I'm not going to get into the reasons why this is so, all you have to do is type "Mother In Law" into this blog's search and you will learn all about our rocky history. The sad part is that my last post a few years ago was actually hopeful after a surprise visit where everyone got along... Unfortunately, she has been an absentee grandmother in my sons' lives and the good feelings were short lived. To be fair to her, she lives 12 hours away in another state and does not come to New York City very often. On the other hand, as a mother, I cannot even fathom how maintaining contact with her grandsons is not more of a priority for her. There really is no excuse with all of the technology that is available to keep in touch even … [Read more...]
The Mother In Law Chronicles-Moving Forward
Many of you who are long-time readers of this blog know that my mother in law and I have had a pretty rocky relationship. A lot of it has to do with her religious convictions and the fact that my husband is her only son. Over the years, we have had our share of disagreements and have never really gotten along. A while back, she moved to South Carolina and it actually made me sad because I knew it would mean that there would be a slim chance of her being more involved in my sons' lives. You see, despite our never seeing eye to eye, it has always been important to me that she have a relationship with her grandsons. Family is important and I have fond memories of the time that I spent with my grandmothers growing up so I have always wanted my boys to have that relationship with their grandparents. Unfortunately, this has not been the case and my boys have never really had the opportunity to get to know her. Last Saturday, she dropped in for a surprise visit after almost … [Read more...]
The Mother In Law Chronicles-Letting Go!
Many of you who have been loyal readers of Tough Cookie Mommy know that I have always had a tumultuous relationship with my Mother In Law. Although I feel that I have tried to connect with her over the years, she has always pushed me away due to what I feel are her extreme conservative religious views. As time has passed, I have learned to accept that she is never going to like me or even respect me and I have resigned myself to the boundaries of our relationship. What I have not been able to accept, however, is her continued absence from my sons' lives as their grandmother. She has never worked to establish a relationship with either one of my sons and this has always been a sore spot for me. Most recently, she failed to call my oldest son for this ninth birthday and it was really the straw that broke the camel's back. You see, she never calls either one of my sons for any holiday. As a matter of fact, the extent of her contact over the years with them has … [Read more...]
The MIL Strikes Again…
Those of you who are regular readers of this blog know that I do not have the best relationship with my Mother In Law. Actually, to say that we have a bad relationship is an understatement, the woman hates me. To fully understand the history between us, you would have to perform a search of this blog and go back in the archives to read about all the wonderful things that she has done to me over the years. My problem is that I am a glutton for punishment because, when it comes to family, I always let them get away with a lot more than I normally would with non-relatives. This is probably what caused our most recent run-in with one another, the fact that I am a sucker for family and that she is determined to get at me in any way shape or form that she possibly could. After the fact, I am still at a loss over whether I asked for it or whether she is just a truly disturbed individual. You decide... Let me go back, if I may to about six months ago when I received a friend … [Read more...]
Do Unto Others…
This week, my wonderful Mother In Law pulled another one of her fast ones. Those of you who have been following this blog for awhile know all too well about my MIL's shenanigans. In case you just recently started following, you can read about the wonderful Thanksgiving visit that she bestowed upon us last year. You see, she has a way of turning any joyous occasion into sheer torture. Just to give you a little background, my MIL does not like me at all. As far as she is concerned, I am not worthy to be married to her son because I am not strict Born Again Christian like she is. Now, let me be crystal clear, I have nothing against Born Again Christians whatsoever. As a matter of fact, that is the religion that my husband was raised in and, although he is non-practicing, he still lists this as his religion on all legal documents. My MIL, on the other hand, looks down upon anyone who does not adhere word for word to everything that is written in the … [Read more...]
Uninvited Guest
I am here to report that I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family! Everything went smoothly and there were no surprises. That is, except for one huge surprise, my Mother In Law crashed Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, I said crashed because she was definitely not invited. There were a number of reasons for that including the fact that she lives out of state, that we haven't seen her in over a year, and that she hates me. I'm not exaggerating, the woman really despises me. It would stand to reason that she would go out of her way to avoid having to see me, however, she has always done everything within her power to be a troublemaker and to get on my nerves. Let me describe the scene to you, everyone was sitting down getting ready to eat the Thanksgiving meal together when my husband received a call from his sister that they were here in New York and they wanted to come over to the house. I knew this was a recipe for disaster because of our history together but … [Read more...]
