Juggling, Sacrificing, and Parenting

        My husband is starting a second job on Saturday. He is a licensed exterminator by trade and he received an offer to work part-time on Saturdays doing just that. I wasn't sure how I felt about this when he first brought it up because we haven't been struggling financially, thank goodness, and it caught me by surprise. His reasons for wanting to do this are that he wants us to pay down our debt faster and become debt free. Obviously, I couldn't argue with those reasons because I would love to be completely debt-free and to waste our hard earned money on more enjoyable things than paying bills.     I'm still conflicted over the whole thing because I feel that it is time that will take him away from the family.  After all, I work full time all week during the day and he works full time during the week at night so the weekend is really the best time for us to spend time together and catch up on family time.  Against my better judgment, I am trying to be supportive because … [Read more...]

The Case of the Ex

        This topic has been fermenting in my mind for quite awhile.  I have debated whether or not I would post about it due to the fact that some of the people who will be discussed here subscribe to this blog.  Finally, I decided that I wasn't being true to myself and to the integrity of this blog if I did not provide my readers with the opportunity to chime in with their thoughts and feelings about the whole thing.  Your feedback is invaluable and perhaps it will help to change the minds of some of the parties involved.     Most of you who are loyal followers of this blog are aware that I was married once before.  I don't want to spend too much time talking about that in this post except to say that the marriage did not last very long and it did not produce any children.  In hindsight, not having had any kids turned out to be a blessing for me because it allowed me to make a clean break from this man and I have not had any reason at all to maintain contact with him over … [Read more...]

Nobody Wins…

        This past week, a woman who lived in the same area as I do went missing.  She was the mother of four and a productive member of society who worked as a nurse.  Her story was all over the airwaves and many people in the community were visibly shocked as I live in a fairly affluent neighborhood in one of the outer boroughs of New York City.  There was a lot of speculation surrounding her disappearance and it was stated on the news that her husband was being questioned as a suspect.     I hate to say this but, I immediately felt in my gut that he had killed her.  It was just too weird that a responsible mother of four beautiful children suddenly disappeared without a trace.  Over the years, I have grown accustomed to ultimately finding out that it was the spouse or the boyfriend that committed the heinous act.  Unfortunately, it usually turns out that this was indeed the case and the public learns that there was a long history of domestic violence prior to the murder.  … [Read more...]

Do Unto Others…

        This week, my wonderful Mother In Law pulled another one of her fast ones.  Those of you who have been following this blog for awhile know all too well about my MIL's shenanigans.  In case you just recently started following, you can read about the wonderful Thanksgiving visit that she bestowed upon us last year.  You see, she has a way of turning any joyous occasion into sheer torture.     Just to give you a little background, my MIL does not like me at all.  As far as she is concerned, I am not worthy to be married to her son because I am not strict Born Again Christian like she is.  Now, let me be crystal clear, I have nothing against Born Again Christians whatsoever.  As a matter of fact, that is the religion that my husband was raised in and, although he is non-practicing, he still lists this as his religion on all legal documents.      My MIL, on the other hand, looks down upon anyone who does not adhere word for word to everything that is written in the … [Read more...]

10 Tips To Help You Live Peacefully With A Man Who Loves Sports…A LOT!

          Today's Guest Blogger is Janis B. Meredith, author of the blog JBM Thinks. Janis was brought up in a sports family, married a man who has coached for 27 years, and has had three kids play sports from age 5 to college. She sees issues a bit differently, with a perspective of life from both sides of the bench--as a coach's wife and as an athlete's parent.     Once upon a time, a handsome young man named Rich met a beautiful young lady named Kathy in college. Their first date was to a baseball game.  Kathy soon learned that her date was an enthusiastic sports nut. She, however, was not. After being raised in a home where her dad watched a lot of sports, she went the opposite direction and grew apathetic, almost cold to sports.  But, she followed her heart and married Rich just over 2 years later.   "He will change", she assured herself...     More than 40 years later, Rich and Kathy are still happily married.  And no, his love for sports has not changed; he still … [Read more...]

Foul!

    Hubby playing Handball, a popular sport in New York City.     My husband is a sports addict. Those of you who are long time followers of my blog know that this is not the first time that I have mentioned this here. He doesn't like one sport, he loves all sports. No matter what season it is, you can always find him watching whatever sport is on television at the moment. He follows everything from football to tennis and drives me crazy while doing it. At any given time, you can enter my home and see ESPN turned on or any other sporting event.     His love of sports doesn't just end there.  He also plays all kinds of sports, attends sporting events, and coaches two of my son's sports teams.  Now, I want to begin by saying that I understand the value of sports for their physical fitness benefits along with the fact that participating in them boosts self esteem.  I'm just sick and tired of watching it and hearing about it all the time.  Now that my boys are getting older, I get … [Read more...]

Just Friends

        My husband and I always have really good conversations.  Through the years, there has been one topic that we repeatedly disagree upon.  The subject was brought up again by me last night as we were discussing some relationship problems that a close relative of mine is currently having.  I mentioned that I still don't think that men and women can be friends at this age.  My husband has always disagreed with me on this because he has always had many female friends throughout his life.      My point of view on this topic is that women in their thirties are not looking to be friends with men.  If they are still single at this age, most women are either looking for someone to have a child with, get married to, or a man to be a father to children that they already have.  I don't really know any single women who are my age that enjoy being single and plan on being single indefinitely.  Maybe I'm wrong and there are some women my age who enjoy being single but I still don't … [Read more...]

Eleven Years Ago…

         Eleven years ago today, I married the love of my life and it was the beginning of an adventure that continues today.  These days, we are the proud parents of two wonderful and beautiful boys, homeowners, and firmly embedded into the American Dream.  However, every great story has a beginning and ours is pretty unconventional to say the least...     Although many of you have heard me state previously that this is my second marriage, it is not something that I discuss very often because the first marriage is in the past and, to be quite honest, I don't feel that it is generally even worthy of wasting too much time talking about.  You see, I like many other people, married my High School sweetheart first because I was drunk with all of the fantasies and romantic notions that young women sometimes have about their first loves.  Unfortunately, reality kicked in rather quickly and we both realized that we were too young and inexperienced and that we were totally unprepared to … [Read more...]

Cheaters Beware!

    Yesterday we had a writing celebration in my class. Each one of my students had to get up and read their published personal narratives to the whole group. Little did I know then that the topic of one of their narratives would have an impact on this blog entry. One of my girls proceeded to read her piece which focused on the day her father left her. She described that sad day in vivid detail and even went on to say that he left her, her brother, and their mother for another woman.     Of course, this got my wheels turning about this whole issue of infidelity. Nobody ever wants to talk about it but yet, we all have some kind of a story or personal connection to share that is directly related to this sometimes taboo subject. We know why the cheaters don't want to talk about it, that is obvious. However, why don't the rest of us talk about it when we are not at fault?     There are many reasons why men and women alike stray from committed relationships into the arms of others who … [Read more...]