My oldest son will be graduating from the eighth grade this June. He has always been very independent and wise for his age even when he was younger. Now that he is a teenager, we have open conversations about earning privileges and how getting older comes with a lot of responsibility. There are many hard-to-discuss topics around sexuality and current events that have been made much easier in part thanks to having access to an educational platform like Netflix.
Some of the mature themes that are explored through Netflix original series like One Day At A Time and the dark comedy depicted in A Series of Unfortunate Events have lent themselves organically to some of our most in-depth conversations. The question that arises with most parents as their kids get older like my son, is how to identify when their kids are ready to watch television shows that contain mature themes or content. Much of their apprehension stems from not knowing how to tackle those tough conversations that arise from viewing such content.
As a parent, you have to determine your individual child’s level of maturity and whether or not they exhibit being responsible before you expose them to programming that contains mature content. In most cases, your teenager will be ready to confront these mature issues way before you will since you still view them as your baby. As an educator, I have found that it is imperative for adolescents to broach these topics with their parents first and foremost. It’s a great way for parents to have control over the information that their children are exposed to and it strengthens the communication between the two.
Let’s Discuss: Tell us, when do you know when your kids are ready for some of this more mature content and how do you tackle the tough conversations that come with it?
Disclosure: This post is part of a blogging campaign in collaboration with Netflix. As a member of the Netflix Stream Team, I received a promotional item as a thank you for participating. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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Great article – your son is very lucky to have a mother like you who takes time to address tough topics with him!
I spoke with my oldest about sex as soon as I thought he was ready and a little before he needed to know. I actually want to check out Unfortunate Events myself when I get a chance.
Nice! Yes, I think using TV and books can be a really helpful tool to open up difficult dialogue!! It’s been really helpful with my Special Education kiddos to reference story-books when talking about their learning disabilities.
Oh gosh I am not looking forward to all the “teen” and pre-teen conversations I am going to have soon. However, when it comes to what they can and cannot watch, well, they don’t have much of a choice, I block channels etc. and have already explained to them what is appropriate for kids.
Even though my son is very young I use TV and other peoples actions as a learning moment and ways to work in those conversations because I can see him gazing at it with confusion.
It helps to talk about those tough things as early as possible, on an age appropriate basis. I’m already thinking about how and when to talk to my grade schooler!
I recently had a talk with my teens about a new word called “fapping”. They were 1000 times uncomfortable but that didn’t stop me from talking t them about it and especially about this new craze with doing it on social media and in messages.
I remember when my parents had these tough conversations with me! So glad I had the type of relationship with my parents where open conversation was encouraged and I did not fear punishment.
You know thinking back I never had that conversation with my parents. I guess it wasn’t done during my generation. It’s so different now and I’m glad there are so many resources to help parents deal with The Talk!
You’re an awesome mom! I am so excited for this show! It looks really cute!
I am usually straightforward about it. I use examples from my own life and experiences when I am having the conversations. I think it helps when they know that you can relate to the issue at hand.
Great thoughts! It’s such a good idea to talk about these type of issues with your teens, especially as a parent.
Oh girl, we are there with you right now. My youngest stepdaughter is 11 and she’s wanting to get on social media. We’re trying to explain there are people out there who prey on kids and she thinks mature and can tell if something is fishy. Luckily her mom and my husband have a united front when it comes to these things. Her older sisters are 17 and 20 so she sees them and it’s hard. All in time…
Here’s what I did with my now 30 year old. I started talking about sex, about the 4th grade and she begged me to stop. So I did. I did it each year, telling her a little more and stopping when she asked me to. When she was 14, in 8th grade? she asked me to go on. I knew then she was ready to hear about all of it, good, bad, safe, etc. When asked years later about what she thought about it she said, you gave me just enough. Sounds good to me!
I’ve been very open with my oldest about all of these important conversations. My girls too, just not as much with them yet. We need to educate them younger on these important topics!
It’s so important to talk about those tough topics with kids. You are a great mom for seeking out ways to delve into these matters and talk to your son. He will be so much better off that you are.
This is such a relevant topic for kids growing up in today’s world. And perfect information for parents who didn’t deal with the same problems or don’t know how to make the most of today’s resources. Media doesn’t have to be bad or scary or dangerous.
Such a great article! Being a parent is already hard enough, and having mature conversations with our kids makes it tougher. Thanks to technology for making everything so much easier for us.
I agree it is so important for them to hear the hard things from Mom and Dad. I would hate for mine to hear it from other at school.
Thankfully I don’t have to worry to much about this right now. Our kids are only 5 and 2.5. But I see us having a conversation with our 5 year old soon enough. I’m not sure if I am really ready for these conversations.
My children are young, 4 years and 4 months old but I know it will be hard to have certain talks with them late r in life. I am hoping I can be as open as my mother was with me. I told her everything and she was always open and never judgmental. I couldn’t tell my father much of anything though.
We have been going through this with my older two kids. Love they are getting older but some shows are catching us off guard with content.
I’m not a parent but I definitely have had interesting conversations with my friends’ kids. She wasn’t sure how to handle it and asked me too. If kids are asking questions they have the right to be answered and honestly, though scaling down what you say to an appropriate level is not easy! I think parents who figure out this balance is awesome, it sure ain’t easy.
Growing up in the Czech Republic I don’t think I ever *needed* any of these deep serious conversations with my parents because the school education system there covers it in a lot of detail! I’ve never had a problem to talk to my mum about things we learnt at school and to discuss in even bigger detail. Can imagine it might have been tough for her though…
I really struggle with what shows to allow my 9 years old to watch, he really wants to see shows that I think are inappropriate but that his friends and younger cousins are allowed to watch….I don’t think he is ready for some of the questions these shows/movies could bring up…but maybe I’m wrong too…it’s a tough decision…
This is a great post! It’s so important to talk to kids about certain topics instead of leaving them to find information for themselves. Education is so important.
I think it’s just important to have a line of communication – period! So many parents just don’t talk to their kids. When you have open non-violent communication they should feel like any topic is available for discussion.
My son is only 8 so there are quite a few shows that he is not allowed to watch. When he was younger we used to tell him it was scary but now he is a bit older and that doesn’t fly, lol.
My son is 9 and has been picking up some really inappropriate things at school lately. I am def. NOT ready to tackle the more mature shows…yet. I sure miss Pooh Bear days sometimes. 😉
This looks like such a great way to open up conversations. If it is while a show is on that they enjoy they may open up more.
Ahhhh I am dreading the day when I have to talk about these things to my daughter. Unfortunately it’s something we all have to do though!
We are definitely careful with what our boys see and hear in the home, but we don’t want to shelter them either. We want them to learn the important things from us and not their peers. Not making it open, but keeping in mind their maturity levels and such.