The Secret To Our Long And Happy Marriage

    Today is our 14th wedding anniversary.  Without a doubt, I can honestly tell you that the last fourteen years have been the best ones of my life.  Have they been easy? Hell no!  However, they have been full of love, joy, and lots of laughter.  My husband makes me a better person and he has given me the greatest gifts that I have ever received, my two boys.

    We spent this whole weekend together reflecting on our marriage and the things that have given our relationship longevity and this is the criteria that we came up with:

  • Love is nice but it just isn’t enough sometimes.  We have found that we are friends first and genuinely enjoy each other’s company as people and individuals.
  • Open communication is key.  It’s important to talk through everything even if the topic is a difficult one to broach.  Holding back feelings or thoughts can fester and cause resentment in the relationship over time.
  • Give each other time to pursue interests separately.  Although we are married, we still enjoy different things and try to make time to enjoy them whenever possible.  In our case, Hubby plays sports and I go out for dinner with my friends on occasion.
  • Never argue over finances.  Although bills and financial woes can be stressful, you should never allow them to consume your marriage.  After all, you will still be in debt after you get a divorce.
  • Don’t hold grudges.  Once you hash out grievances about whatever with one another, let it go.  There is no point in bringing it up over and over again.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, we haven’t exactly mastered all of the points in the list above.  The important thing is that we are aware of them and we strive daily at being better people individually and for each other.  God willing, we will have many more decades together to finally get it all right…

Let’s Discuss:  How long have you been in your marriage or relationship and what is the secret to how long it has lasted?

© 2013, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.


  1. So many wise tips and I love your thoughts that “you will still be in debt after you get a divorce.” Very funny yet very true.

  2. Jennifer Williams says

    That is awesome that you made it 14 years, I had to laugh when I read the friends first statement. My husband and I hated each other when we met so we started as enemies! You are so right on all the things that make it work!

  3. First of all, Happy Anniversary. I agree with everything you said about making it work. I think the one about not arguing about money is so much more important than people realize. I’ve seen it be the downfall of several friend’s marriages. It’s just not worth it – everything works out one way or the other.

  4. Happy Anniversary,i think all your points are correct and helps to make a good relationship heres one that hubby and myself stick to its a silly one though we have separate tvs otherwise all we would do is argue over who is watching what lol..but being friends first is very important.

  5. Terry My Journey With Candida says

    Whooo Hoooo….. Happy Anniversarty Maria!! Staying married in this day and age is not easy. Kudos to both of you for making it work.

  6. Daisy Tremorev says

    We’ve had ups and downs, but in the end kindness always makes things work.

  7. I have only been married for two years, so I think that’s awesome y’all have been together for so long! We have already learned how it is so important to always communicate. When we first were married, we both often assumed that the other person “just got it,” which wasn’t fair at all and led to a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Thanks for this great post; what an inspiration to those of us who are just starting out on the journey of marriage! 🙂

  8. scentednights2002 says

    Being friends is very important and should be the basis for any relationship.

  9. Teresa McCluskey says

    Happy Anniversary! My husband and I just had our 5 yrs on 10/22 and It is so nice to see that you are happy 14 yrs later! I think love is amazing!

  10. Dawn Spatulas On Parade says

    We have been married for 22 years almost 23 and together 25. It has NOT been easy, but communication is key. That and understand that marriage is 100% not 50 50 as some say. You have to give it your all and be committed to that person no matter what.
    Love is a choice. You choose to love or you choose not to. You don’t “fall out of love” you choose to stop, it all feelings are gone, it must have been lust and not love.
    Congrats on 14 years! May the next 14 be full of love laughter and joy as well.

  11. This is such a great post, and it made me smile because it’s your anniversary. Happy Anniversary!!

  12. Trista M. Laborn says

    14 years of marriage!!! Congrats on your anniversary, those tips are right on, and I wish you so much more happy years together!!!

  13. Happy Anniversary to you! You are such an adorable couple. “Love is nice but it just isn’t enough sometimes.”- so true! There has to be more substance to hold a relationship together. Well stated and sound advice!

  14. “After all, you will still be in debt after you get a divorce.” I love this. It is so true. Maybe more people should realize this! Happy Anniversary!–Ashley Gill

  15. Amberlee Cave says

    I have been married for almost 4 years.. I still can’t believe it! Congrats on being together for so long! I hope we can last as long! lol

  16. Congratulations!! I was married for 21 years, but we were never friends and that IS so important!!

  17. JadeLouise Designs says

    Those are great tips on ensuring a strong marriage! Congrats on 14 years! We have been married for 11 years.

  18. Congrats on almost 14 years. I will have been married 25 next year. Those are great tips too!

  19. BabsProjects says

    Marriage is never perfect and both partners have to work at it. Happy Anniversary and congrats for celebrating 14 years of married life and wishing you many more.

  20. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says

    I also agree that building a relationship on friendship is an important element.

  21. Marriage really does take a lot of work. I’ve been married for a very long time and hubby and I still argue. We don’t always see eye to eye on a lot of things but the main thing is that we don’t hold grudges. (Well I do sometimes) 🙂

  22. Amanda MacMahon says

    We’re going on 10 years together and almost 7 years married. Time flies 🙂

  23. My husband and I have been married just a few months short of 12 years! We don’t always see eye to eye on things but hey that’s life. It’s important to listen to each other

  24. I was married once and was not quite ready. I love all your tips and apply them to the relationship I’m in now. I think communication is key. TALK to your partner!

  25. Katherine Bartlett says

    Wonderful tips! I’ve been married for 8 years 🙂

  26. AMEN! Congratulations on 14 years of marriage. It’s always great to read about marriages and relationships that weather the storms that come our way and celebrate the happier moments in life. Good for both of you! I wish you a lifetime of happiness and strength.


  27. Wow! 14 years, Congratulations! It’s inspiring to see many couples living together long time. And yes, Marriage is a school of love. 🙂

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