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A while back, I wrote a blog post about polygamy and I had some pretty strong feelings about the whole phenomenon. My biggest issue with it was the fact that, in the documentary that I watched, very young women seemed to be forced into situations that they had no control over. Additionally, I was very upset by the subservient role that the wives seemed to play within the confines of the polygamist family.
This past week, I happened upon a show called Sister Wives on Netflix and I was immediately drawn to watching it. The show revolves around a polygamist family with a husband that has four wives and sixteen children between the four women. I wanted to see how these people lived in real life and not through the perspective of a generic documentary like the one that I had seen years before.
Now, before you start emailing all of your friends and telling them that Tough Cookie Mommy is converting and becoming a Sister Wife, I thought I should write a blog post outlining what I have noticed to be the positive aspects of being in a plural marriage. After all, no good argument is complete without discussing its pros and cons. In this case, since my previous blog post was very critical of polygamy, I thought I would keep an open mind this time and try to see the positives in this arrangement.
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As the wife of one husband, I can tell you that being married is a lot of work. Actually, it’s a heck of a lot of work! One of the things that I think is great about being in a polygamist relationship is that you get a break from your husband when he is off spending time with one of his other wives. His absence gives you plenty of time to pursue some of your other interests like joining a book club, or going to the movies with your friends. I’m sure I’m not the only wife that would enjoy a break from being a wife albeit just for a couple of hours.
Those of you who follow my blog know that I am a Cancer Survivor. Another benefit I can see from being in a plural marriage is that, if something should happen to one of the wives, the other Sister Wives assume responsibility for raising her kids. Being that something like this happening is a mother’s worst nightmare, it must be nice knowing that there are “backup” mothers ready to assume that role should a personal tragedy occur.
Lastly, the other major benefit of being a Sister Wife, in my humble opinion, is that there is always free babysitting. You never have to worry about childcare because one of your Sister Wives is always available to watch your children should the need arise. With the cost of childcare being what it is, this is a tremendous benefit to any household and is definitely one of the more appealing points of being a Sister Wife.
As enticing as all of these fringe benefits might seem, I’m still not sure that I could fully commit to sharing my man with other women on a regular basis. Don’t get me wrong, husbands can be a pain sometimes but I think husbands with more than one wife can be even more of a pain. I’m very tolerant and I definitely prescribe to the old saying of “Live and let live,” however, I’ve never been very good at sharing and don’t think sharing my husband is a good place to start. What do you guys think?
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Yes, the benefits “sound” great! However, like with anything else, I’m sure there’s a trade-off. But, like you said, to each their own. This arrangement might work just fine for some. Me? Not so much 🙂
Yokasta, I don’t think it would work for me either. There is definitely a trade-off including having to share the emotional and intimate aspects of the marriage with other people. I would venture to say that these women are really strong inside to be able to deal with the emotions involved in this kind of arrangement.
The benefits do sound great but I think I prefer my traditional marriage. Not sure I’d want to get traded in for a younger, prettier sister wife.
What is on t.v. is much different than what I have seen in real life. Many of these women are treated as second class citizens and abused. It breaks my heart.
The real problem with this relationship is two fold: 1. Men reap all the benefits. 2. From what I have read from women in these relationships (Wife No. 19 by Ann Eliza Young), the children of dead sister wives do not necessarily fair well after their mothers’ passing. Why doesn’t any western religion adhere to polyandry? Because men would not benefit.
I wouldn’t mind the free baby sitting or time to myself, however I am not up for sharing my hubby. I would be way to jealous. :/
I’d stick to traditional marriage, too, not up for sharing my husband in the biblical sense 😉 The benefits of having others to share in chores and babysitting would be a great perk, though!
I agree with you. There are benefits, but it wouldn’t be for me.
LOL I love your have an open mind. You have mentioned some very interesting points but I think I’ll stay single and enjoy my own company all the time.
I think that it’s really great that you’ve tried to look at it from different angles. What about polyamory? I feel like one man with multiple wives is just not balanced.
Oooo, I didn’t think it was possible, but you have gone and made me jealous of polygamists! ha/ha!
To each their own – right?!?!
And I love the show!
I keep asking my husband for a sister wife! We laugh about it, but I’m really a little bit serious!
I am a sister wife. Currently there are 2 wives, one husband. Are we, as a family, open to more sister wives? If it’s meant to be, it will be.
We are non-religious so we’re not part of a sect or any compound or commune. We’re fairly normal people, farmers, hard working professionals outside the home. We live a pretty simple, normal life.
Polygamy is NOT for everyone and not everyone will agree with it. But, thanks for seeing some of the good in it. 🙂
I enjoy being with one man, I am not gonna share, one man, one woman. Amen.
I am personally single and young, but I think I really would enjoy haveing more then one wife . The con of it all is finding any woman who would be intrested who is not Mormon or a muslim.