The Mother In Law Chronicles-Moving Forward

    Many of you who are long-time readers of this blog know that my mother in law and I have had a pretty rocky relationship.  A lot of it has to do with her religious convictions and the fact that my husband is her only son.  Over the years, we have had our share of disagreements and have never really gotten along.  A while back, she moved to South Carolina and it actually made me sad because I knew it would mean that there would be a slim chance of her being more involved in my sons’ lives.

    You see, despite our never seeing eye to eye, it has always been important to me that she have a relationship with her grandsons.  Family is important and I have fond memories of the time that I spent with my grandmothers growing up so I have always wanted my boys to have that relationship with their grandparents.  Unfortunately, this has not been the case and my boys have never really had the opportunity to get to know her.

    Last Saturday, she dropped in for a surprise visit after almost a year of not hearing from her or seeing her.  I must admit that I was extremely shocked to see her and I cautiously greeted her and asked her to spend the day with us.  We had a great day with the kids at the park and even all went out to eat pizza for dinner.  At times it was a little awkward but I really enjoyed seeing my boys laughing with her and hugging her.

    I am writing this post because I am firm believer in new beginnings.  Now, I’m not deluding myself into thinking that everything that has happened in the past is suddenly going to go away overnight.  However, we had one good day and good days lead to better days and so on.  I’m cautiously optimistic that we will finally be able to put our differences aside in order for her to put in the effort to be in my sons’ lives.

    It is what I have always wanted, for her to step up and be a grandmother to her grandsons.  At the end of the day, this is all about my boys and their right to have her in their lives.  I will preserve this right of theirs even if it means biting my tongue at times and being the peacemaker between her and my husband.  After all, that is our responsibility as parents, to ensure our children’s happiness.  Perhaps we will all be able to see the light in the horizon and move forward in the interest of family.  Perhaps…

© 2013, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.


  1. Truly encouraging article and its great to be with family members whom we still love and obviously we have not forgotten them. i good to forget all differences and be with loved ones and see them happy.

  2. Great post. As you already know, I have issues with my mil as well but in the end, what matters most, are always the kids. I’m glad you had a great time. New beginnings!

  3. To new beginnings! I didn’t agree with everything my in-laws did or believed in, but they were great grandparents to my daughters. I just learned when to keep my mouth shut, LOL.

  4. paulakiger says

    So true, Maria — I am fortunate to have a good relationship with my in-laws. We have been in the same town as them all of my kids’ lives — so for better or worse they have definitely had a chance to get to know one another!

  5. coupontammy says

    Your relationship is very much like mine with my father inlaw. He never thought I was good enough for his only son. Now after 24 years of marriage it is much better. I just never wasted much energy trying to fight with him. I just let it go. Now he actually has stepped up to the plate and has a relationship with his grandchildren. Sometimes people do change. Good luck!

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