To Be Or Not To Be…

    Ever since as far back as I could remember I’ve had a big mouth.  Yes, I said it, a big one.  Not the kind of big mouth that tells everyone all of your secrets.  That’s reserved for other definitions of big mouths.  My problem, or blessing depending on which way you look at it, has always been that I always say exactly how I feel out loud.

    I realize that some of you might not see this as an issue at all because you like to surround yourself with “straight-shooters’ like myself.  Believe me when I tell you, though, that opening my mouth and saying how I felt has gotten me into my share of problems over the years.  Sometimes people don’t want to hear what you have to say and they just want you to listen.  I get that…

    What I have never understood is society’s level of hypocrisy.  It’s almost as if most people would prefer to wander through life being phony to one another.  I can’t tell you how many times I have stood in awe as supposed friends and family members have spoken negatively about each other behind each other’s backs only to smile in their face later.

    I’m no angel, so don’t canonize me just yet.  However, one of the things that I have prided myself with over the years is my sincerity.  Sure, I’ve said things but they were either things I already said to the person’s face or will be saying to the person’s face shortly.  Unfortunately, there seems to be no place in this society for the truth.

    People are perfectly content with walking through life oblivious to the real feelings of others and out of touch with even their own true feelings.  As I’m getting older, I am lacking the energy to deal with the drama that arises out of speaking the truth and I’m becoming more inclined to fall in with the other sheeps.

    The problem is that by falling in with how everyone else is, I am failing to be true to myself.  It should be perfectly fine for me to voice my disapproval of something and to be able to discuss it in an adult way.  Additionally, my feelings are relevant and matter just as much as everyone else’s.

    So the question has become, should I continue to be ME or should I conform to the status quo?  Has the time come for me to shut my big mouth and tell people what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear?  I’m pretty sure that I will continue being who I am because it has gotten me through the last 35 years and some hairy situations.  The latter question, I’m not so sure of…

    I’ve come to the conclusion that, although I should continue being true to who I am, I need to use more discretion with regards to whom I voice my thoughts.  I suppose some people are content floating through life believing the nonsense that spews forth from their lips and nothing I say is ever going to change them.  Maybe the answer is to keep my big mouth and rid myself of these kind of people in my life.

    Let’s discuss.  What kind of a person do you tend to be, an outspoken, passive, or passive-aggressive one?  How has your personality impacted the kinds of interpersonal relationships that you have with others?

© 2012, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.


  1. I can very much relate to this… I have lost more than a few friends because they couldn’t handle my honest opinions on things.  (Seriously, if you don’t want to hear that your hubby is a jerk, don’t ask ‘Is my hubby a jerk?’ – some things should be obvious…).  I’ve decided that I should probably keep my mouth shut a bit more – but always, always, ALWAYS reply honestly to a question.  I completely understand this internal dilemma – when it comes to close friends, I’ve decided that I would rather have none than lots of people who I have to ‘tiptoe’ around, because then they’re not really friends.

    • Hi, Samantha.  I think I should probably keep my mouth shut a bit more too.  However, I completely agree with you, I would rather surround myself with friends and family members who respect the person that I am without me always having to be afraid to speak my mind lest I offend someone.  It’s definitely not an easy path to travel…

  2. Yokasta Schneider says

    That’s always such a touchy subject because you’re “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”.  I’ve been passive-aggressive in the past.  But more recently, I’ve been more upfront.  In my case, I believe it has to do with getting older.  I figure I don’t owe anyone any explanations, take it or leave it.  

    • Yokasta, it is definitely a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” kind of scenario.  I’ve always been upfront but, I completely agree with you, getting older is taking my bluntness to a whole other level.  I also feel like I don’t owe anyone anything and if they don’t want to be around me or don’t like me then, oh well…

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