72 Days…

    I hate to give any additional attention to the topic of Kim Kardashian’s divorce, however, I just couldn’t help myself.  Besides being disgusted at all of the media attention that this whole issue is getting, I can’t help but to be stuck on one point in this whole thing.  News reports indicate that comments have been made to the effect of that they tried to keep the marriage together for all of 72 days since the wedding.  As someone who has been married for 12 years next week, the first thought that comes to my mind is, “Are you freaking kidding me?”

    Anyone who has ever been married can tell you that marriages are a lot of work.  Let me correct that, they are a hell of a lot of work.  I’ve often compared them to plants when discussing the whole issue with my friends and family.  You have to water, nurture, and care for a marriage much like you do for the plants in your home.  If you don’t, they will just wither away and die.  Feelings will die, weeds will grow, soil will dry up, well you get the picture that I am trying to paint here…

    Unfortunately, it seems that the sanctity of marriage is lost on our modern society.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not necessarily an advocate of marriage by any means.  This is my second marriage and I would have been perfectly content living as a common law couple with my husband had he not proposed to me and urged me to marry him.  I’m not saying that marriage is for everyone nor am I saying that you must be married in order to have a long, loving, and meaningful relationship.  What I am saying is that people should think about what they are getting into before taking the leap.

    I guess there are many reasons why people get married.  Some women are in love with the idea of being in love and having a fairy tale wedding.  On the other hand, men probably do it because it is what we women expect them to do.  I’m just saying this because my observations have been that most men don’t have the most positive things to say about getting married.  They often refer to their wives as the “old ball and chain” or they compare getting married to being on “lock-down” or losing their independence and identity.

    Whatever your reasons for getting married, you should probably know that being married is not easy at all.  Sure it is rewarding and wonderful at times to be able to spend the rest of your life with the person you love.  Unfortunately, this is sometimes overshadowed by life simply happening.  It is very easy for love to go right out the window when bills need to be paid, children are tugging at your clothes for attention, and both people are simply exhausted from working and all of the responsibilities that come with raising a family.  Forget about sex whenever you want because you have to get creative just to get some intimate time with the kids always hovering about and everything else that is going on.

    In my opinion, it is during these times that your marriage is truly tested.  Being able to keep the spark alive in your relationship and to remember why you fell in love with that person in the first place are part of the recipe to having a long marriage.  Although you have to get really creative to keep that fire burning at times, it is very important that both people put the time in to do so.  If they don’t, they will be overcome by all of the stresses and issues of daily life and begin to vent and lash out at each other which is never good for anyone involved.

    As someone who has been married for a long time, I am offended when someone like Ms. Kardashian states that she tried to keep the marriage going for 72 days.  Really?  If someone cannot stand by their spouse for that paltry amount of time, they had no business marrying that person in the first place.  Surely there will be a lot more obstacles that come up in later years throughout the marriage that will make those 72 days seem almost insignificant.  Basically, what I’m trying to say is that marriage is not for everyone.  Unless you are prepared to put in the time and effort, don’t even bother.

    Seeing these images and hearing these reports only contributes to the breakdown of the family in our society.  If two people can’t even make responsible decisions about whether or not they should be marrying each other, how can we ever expect them to get it together long enough to eventually raise children who will be productive members of society?  I certainly don’t have the answer to this question but what I do know, after being married twice, once unsuccessfully and once successfully, is that you pretty much know in your gut if you should marry the person way before the wedding day.  If it doesn’t feel right, just don’t do it…

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