As I get older, I am becoming keenly aware of the people who are genuinely in my corner that I could depend on through thick and thin. Life can be ironic in that you assume that you can immediately identify the individuals that will be by your side through prosperity and adversity. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and you end up being extremely disappointed more times than not. At the same time, however, you are pleasantly surprised at others who astound you with their loyalty and their genuine hearts.

     At times, I have wondered if being let down by those that I put all my stock in was my own doing. Perhaps I deluded myself about the nature of these interpersonal relationships and my support and loyalty was not reciprocated to an equal degree. I have realized, though, that I have not changed. I am still the same person that I have always been.  I will concede, however, that I am keenly aware of the realities of life as well as my own mortality. Aging and having children will do that to you. Maybe this has changed me, to some degree. If anything, it has changed me for the better and made me more appreciative of the many blessings that I have been bestowed with in my life.

    The truth is that I am no longer in the business of pleasing anyone else but myself. I will not be held to any preconceived notions about propriety or political correctness. I vow to be true to myself at all times and at all costs. No longer will I entertain conversations or drama that waste valuable time and energy. No longer will I be made to feel guilty for not returning phone calls, not attending events that I did not want to attend in the first place, for not always being available, for not keeping a pristine house, for not conforming to the status quo, and for not agreeing. I will definitely not feel guilty about being strong and not taking the easy and weak way out. Weakness is not an option.

    Unfortunately, some may end up by the wayside during this journey. You can either ride shotgun with me or get off at the next stop. If you have an urgency to keep it moving, just find the nearest exit. I have more respect for you that way.

*This post is dedicated to all of those people whom we have all encountered in our lives that eventually show their true colors and demonstrate to us that they never deserved to be in our lives in the first place. 

© 2011, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.


  1. Ouch.

    Well, this person obviously didn’t know who they were messing with. So sorry you are experiencing abandonment and negativity by those you trusted to have your back and support you in this life. I have felt that bitter slap myself and it never ceases to amaze me how selfish the actions of others can be at times.

    The only thing that brings me an ounce of comfort is the concept that perhaps that love we put out is meant to always come back to us but not always from those whose lives we attempt to touch and give priority to. Sometimes, it comes back to us in the kindness of strangers, in the form of amazing luck, blessings, the unconditional love of animals, the thankful old, frail, humble homeless and basically from where we LEAST expect it. Sometimes, I will be short a dime at a cashier and that person will excuse it or I step on my beloved pup and hurt him and he will smile and lick my foot. Other times, for absolutely no reason someone makes my day with a kind word, reassuring smile and thoughtful gesture. These instances in which I feel lucky to be alive sometimes give me the strength, gratitude and renewed hope in my heart that the love I give out (though it may seem so very wasted on others) WILL come back. I just have to remember to keep my eyes peeled for it. It is so easy to miss!

    Btw, I received my Celestial Seasons prize from your giveaway and was sooo happy! Thank you for doing what you do. People do care and I, for one, am sending you happy and positive vibes this minute 🙂

    • Desiree, I actually wrote this post after being let down by people who I thought were my friends last year ended up stabbing me in the back. I’ve definitely learned and moved on from that experience but I still think that it is a message worth sharing with others. A lot of people are in situations where they are being negatively affected by toxic people in their lives. Sometimes we just need to reach inside of ourselves and tap into our inner strength.

      I am so glad that you enjoyed your Celestial Seasonings prize. It makes me really happy to reward my readers with nice giveaways and I’m sure that winning things helps in today’s economic times. You are a great lady and I love putting a smile on your face!

  2. This is a very strong post! It took guts to write it, but it’s something people need to hear. You must live life for yourself and no one else. I love this quote, “You can either ride shotgun with me or get off at the next stop.”

    • Eleana, you are so right, some people definitely need to hear this. I have definitely come full circle in worrying about making myself happy and not being concerned with how others perceive me or my actions. Thanks, it seems that this quote resonates with a lot of people. 🙂

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