Lessons Learned in 2010

      This time of the year is a time of reflection as we approach the end of one year and the beginning of another.  We spend time thinking back to our experiences in the past year and we make goals that we would like to address or accomplish in the coming year.  These goals are often connected to how we conduct our interpersonal or romantic relationships, to where we would like to advance in our careers, and to self-improvement, both external and internal.

    I am no different, in this respect, and I value this time of the year as an opportunity to evaluate some of the decisions that I have made this year as well as the relationships that I have maintained with others.  I’m definitely a firm believer in the old saying, “Out with the old, in with the new.”  Obviously, this does not pertain to my husband, my children, or my loved ones.  (At least they hope it doesn’t…)  🙂  It definitely does pertain to those influences and people that I have deemed to be toxic or detrimental to my long term peace and happiness.

    It is so true that “hindsight is 20/20.”  We can look back and see so clearly where we made the wrong decision, said the wrong thing, or let the wrong person or persons into our lives.  Unfortunately, it is not always so easy to identify these things when we are living in the moment.  As a result of this, we end up kicking ourselves later for not having “seen it coming” or for not avoiding certain people or situations.  Luckily, life is about learning from our mistakes and growing from them so we are afforded the opportunity to recover from these life errors.

    I wanted to make sure that I remembered all of the things that I learned about myself this year and about human nature in general so I decided to jot all of them down in my list of “Lessons That I Learned in 2010.”  My thinking is that I will have this list to refer to in the upcoming year to remind me of all of the newfound knowledge that 2010 cast in my direction.  I’m sure that many of you will be able to relate first-hand to many of the lessons that I learned…

Lessons I Learned In 2010…

-Everyone is not your friend and, as a rule of thumb, by age 30 it’s not a good idea to make new friends.  Stick to those friends who have stuck by you for years.

-People are always going to find something negative to say about you no matter how good you try to be in your life or how nice you try to be towards others.

-If you keep apologizing for engaging in the same behavior over and over, you are not really sorry.

-People can grow and family relationships can be salvaged with a little effort from both parties involved.

-Life is not a dress rehearsal, we only get one chance to put on a great show.

-Everything that is done in the dark eventually comes to the light and is exposed.

-Men are never going to learn how to put the toilet seat down, regardless of how many times women remind them to do so.

-Lending money to friends or family is a really bad idea.

-Credit cards are from the devil…

-My Mother In Law is never going to like me and, I don’t give a damn.

-Be thankful for your life because there is always someone worse off than you are.

    All of these lessons are directly related to experiences that I had this year due to decisions that I made and interactions that I had with others.  Some of these are common sense lessons but, there is nothing like getting a kick in the pants from life to remind us of what really matters.  What are some of the lessons that you learned in 2010?

*Image credit:  Zazzle.com

© 2010, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.


  1. Did I write this??? You were reading my mind. I learned a lot of those this year too. XOXO

  2. I learned a new saying this year….kinda goes w your post. I usually hold guilt over my head for the people who don’t like me. I try and try to fix relationships that just need to be buried.

    My father-in-law taught me a new saying that goes with not being responsible for other people’s luggage, for not carrying this guilt any longer.



    • Jill, I also have that problem of trying to fix relationships that are kaput. I love that saying and will use it from now on. Let them carry their own damn bags! Happy New Year to you and your family!

    • I can relate very well to almost all of your lessons Maria and am sorry that you had to learn them. Here’s to a new year and, Jill, I think your Father-in-law is a pretty smart guy! 🙂 By the way, the “strawberry Freckles” is such a cute blog title!

  3. Great lessons, but some pretty tough to get through I can imagine. Here’s to a 2011 with all this new knowledge and strength under your belt!

    Happy New Year!

  4. Have a fantastic New Year!

  5. Great lessons. I’ve learnt some, too. But I also think that we learn from each other when we share similar experiences.
    I love Jill’s saying.
    Your baggage is not my baggage so I can’t carry it for you anyway.

    • Kat, that is very true. Being able to relate and connect to one another’s experiences definitely helps us to grow as individuals. Jill’s saying rocks, I can’t wait to tell someone to carry their own bags.

  6. You go girl. Awesome post! And, I’m glad your blog is back up and running. Scary about the old plug in crashing it!

    • Hi, Pamela. I’ve missed you around these parts! Yes, it was scary and very stressful because I could not figure out how to fix the problem. Thank goodness for Hostgator, they always fix everything. I will never switch from them because they have excellent customer service. Happy New Year to you, Eric, and the kids.

  7. Credit cards are truly from the Devil – I agree. Ugh!

    Great lessons though – I still have a few of those to learn. 🙂

  8. Wow! Love these lessons learned from life in 2010 ~ especially “credit cards are from the devil:)” Got a chuckle out of a few of these thoughts, and others are well worth contemplating. Thanks for this most enjoyable post.
    Meet your newest follower. Hope you’ll swing by and vist me too.
    Happy New Year!

  9. Good Morning…this was such a good read this AM….love the first 2..I have been burned more then once by what I thought was a friend..May this new year bring you many blessings. Happy New Year.

  10. I agree with most of your lessons learned… except for the new friends bit – life can take different turns (new parent friends from schools and moves)… and … luckily my MIL is pretty decent

    Happy soon to be 2011

    • Hi, Sara. I know you are right but I am just reflecting on those people whom I thought were my friends this past year that turned out to not be real friends at all. It must be nice to have a decent MIL… Happy New Year to you and yours!

  11. Great list. 🙂 I can totally agree with most. I have to say though that it must be possible to teach a man to put down the seat, because my husband NEVER leaves up the seat. Mind you, he was raised by a single mom and had an older sister. I don’t think they gave him much slack on that one. 🙂

    And lending money to friends or relatives. I learned long ago that when it comes to money, if I give it to friends or family, I don’t expect it back. If I get it back, great, but if I don’t, I am already okay with it.

    I hope you have an amazing New Year. 🙂

    • Hi, Kelly. You are going to have to ask your husband what tricks his Mom and sister used to get him to keep the seat down! You are right, if one lends money to family or friends, they should have no expectations about how it is going to turn out because it can go a number of ways… I hope you and your family have a wonderful New Year!

  12. For me, it wasn’t my MIL, but my SIL. And I have learned not to care. My self worth is cannot be related to what others think of me. In fact one of my favorite quotes this year has been, “What other pepole think of me is none of my business.”

  13. Wow! Everything you said was right on the money! I even said one or two things similar in my Reflections post…lol.

    I am your newest follower – following via GFC, Twitter and FB. Stop by Harvest For Tomorrow if you get a chance. Really nice blog.

    Amy at http://www.harvestfortomorrow.blogspot.com

  14. We’re happily following via Fab Friends Friday! We’d love it if you followed us, we think you might dig what we’re doin’. 🙂 Thanx


  15. I found you and your blog via the 2011 blog hop and became a follower. I hope you will follow me too.

  16. Yes Yes and Yes!

    Ive learned alot of these lessons.. plus not to put too much expectations on people…then they can never fail you.



  17. I’m a new follower and would love for you to follow me back!

  18. Oh my gosh, your list is almost identical to mine including the mil issues! lol Your so funny. I love it. Thanks for stopping by Mommy Madness. I’m a new follower and looking forward to reading your blog!!

    Jennifer @ Life with the Lebedas

  19. What a great post. These are my favorites:
    -Credit cards are from the devil…

    -My Mother In Law is never going to like me and, I don’t give a damn.

    -Be thankful for your life because there is always someone worse off than you are.

    I am your latest follower! Thanks for following!


  20. I am passing the Stylish Blogger Award to you – please accept! =)


  21. What a wonderful post. Thank you for linking up in Ring in 2011 blog hop and I am your newest follower. Have a wonderful New Year.

  22. Hello. visiting from the ring in 2011 blog hop! Please visit & follow @ http://www.mommiesandbeyond.comn I would love to reach 200 fans before 2011! Happy New Year!
    following you on your blog, twitter and facebook.

  23. I have learned some of those same lessons this year. Stopping by from the Ring in 2011 Blog Hop! I am your newest follower. Would love to have you stop by and follow back.

    Happy New Years from Tammy’s Two Cents!

  24. I am a new follower. Love this post. I hope you can follow back 🙂


  25. Hey Im your newest follower from the Welcome Weekend blog hop! I would love you to follow back 😉 http://landl21.blogspot.com/

  26. Wow what a great post, I found you via the ring in 2011 blog hop. I have to say, though, I just had my 2nd baby at the age of 32 and the friends I have made since he was born are wonderful ladies and definitely friends for life- don’t write off new friends yet!

    • Unfortunately, the experiences that I have had making new friends this year have taught me differently. Maybe you are right and 2011 will prove me wrong about trusting and making new friends. Thanks for passing by and sharing your personal experiences.

  27. Hi! Just wanted to let you know that you were chosen as this weeks Swingin by sunday spotlighted blog! 🙂 Have a wonderful night!

  28. Hi, found you on the blog hop at Chubby Cheeks. I am now following you 🙂

    Happy New Year!


  29. So, so true. If only foresight were as clear as hindsight, right? Live and learn. My motto is something like “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” In recent years I have come to embrace – after a while – the hard times because they make me a better, more loving, and genuine person myself.

    Happy New Year Maria! I hope 2011 has great things in store. 🙂

  30. http://www.RealDadReviews.com
    Following your blog!
    Please follow back!
    If you could follow me on Facebook, that would be great!
    The Dad!

  31. #2 is too true. All we can control is our response!
    New blog hop follower Happy New Year!
    Sweet T Makes Three
    Networked Blogs

  32. “-Everyone is not your friend and, as a rule of thumb, by age 30 it’s not a good idea to make new friends. Stick to those friends who have stuck by you for years.”

    I love that advice, and have been saying that since forever. I think once people become comfortable with themselves and the friendships they have maintained over the years, near and far, we don’t need to keep adding to our lists. My closest friends have been there for 10 years or more, and I don’t talk to them daily, but I know where they are when I need them. And they know where I am.

    Hope you had a Happy New Year!

    • Eleana. I am normally an extremely friendly person. Unfortunately, this year I learned that I need to be a little more guarded. It seems that other people, at this age, have different agendas when they are initiating friendships. At this point, I am no longer interested in cultivating new friendships. As you stated, those friends who have always been there know where they can find me. I had a great New Year surrounded by my loved one, I hope you did too…

  33. Hi, I just stopped by to say I am giving you one of the “Stylish Bloggers Award”. Here is an explanation of what to do if you wish to accept. http://bookscraftsprettythings.blogspot.com/2011/01/stylish-blogger-award.html
    Thanks so much for the networking opportunity. Hope 2011 is great!

  34. Good List! Good Lessons. I guess I learned that when things seem the most grim, life has a way of going on and bringing joy again.

    As for those who don’t like me, my mom had a saying about that. It’s F – ummmm. screw em! I’ve lived by that motto my whole life. Don’t like me? It’s your problem not mine. So I’m glad you aren’t going to let your mother-in-law’s issue affect you.

    Also, with the money thing. You are right. You don’t lend money to family, you give it. If you get it back it’s a nice surprise.

    • Doreen, I was also raised by my parents to “F-ummmmm.” Although I know that I really shouldn’t care what others think, the sensitive side of me always wonders “why?” I’m starting to become more comfortable with accepting the fact that you will never please everyone and that there will always be people who don’t like you no matter what you do…

      • Yup, you can’t please everyone. Just do what is good for you and your family and please yourselves. Don’t go out to intentionally hurt others, of course, unless, they deserve it. Otherwise, don’t waste your brain cells on wondering why, because you will never figure it out and it doesn’t really matter.

        When all else fails, grab a pizza. LOL I just wrote a blog about NY pizza, you know what I’m taking about girl! 🙂

  35. I’m a new follower and I hope you’ll stop by my blog and follow me too! Have a great day!

  36. Happy New Year! stopping by from the blog hop to follow. Love your list of things you learned in 2010 and can not disagree with any of them. Wonderful insight, so nice to meet you 🙂

  37. I am swinging by. Congrats on the feature and Happy New Year!

  38. I am your newest follower from Ring In 2011 Blog Hop!!
    Please follow me back at
    http://denkli-satisfyyoursenses.blogspot.com Thanks!

  39. Great though provoking post.

    Happy New Year!!!

    Fellow Blog Hopper:)

  40. Stopping by from sundays bloghop and am your newest a follower! I also liked your FB page and hope you will hop on by to my blogs and FB page too!




  41. Following for Swinging by Sunday blog hop.

  42. Nice list that you have learn I’m your new follower and hope to read more post of you thanks for the information


  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Maria and Maria. Maria said: NEW POST Lessons Learned in 2010 – http://bit.ly/gzo2ba VIA @toughcookiemom #blogchat #latinabloggers #hispz #latism […]

  2. […] starting off a new year with a clean slate.  Scary Mommy posted about her year in review and Tough Cookie Mommy wrote her lessons learned.  I had not planned to reflect on 2010, but their posts changed my mind. […]

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