Computer Love

   

 I have been promising you guys this story for a long time now.  Permit me to take you back 12 years…   

    You see, I never got to party or have fun the way that normal young people do because I had a steady boyfriend all through High School.  Due to this, I partied hard the year after my divorce because I had a lot of things that I needed to get out of my system.  I had a good friend whose boyfriend had called off their engagement so her and I basically partied together and wallowed in our own misery together too.  We would chat with each other online about dates that we had been on and just be supportive of each other.  It was actually during one of these online chat sessions that I met my husband.

    He was in the army at the time, stationed down South and he started talking to me and asked me if he could call me on the phone.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I never met men online before and I don’t necessarily advocate it now.  The thing is, though, that there was definitely something genuine about him that I could not put my finger on and he was so insistent that I finally gave in and gave up the digits.  Believe it or not, he called me thirty minutes later and we talked for hours.  It was so easy to talk to him and we seemed to have so many things in common.

     I don’t know how many of you believe in destiny but, if there is such a thing, us meeting was definitely in the cards.  Many of the things that we had in common were unbelievable and almost incredible.  It turned out that we had attended the same High School and had grown up in the same borough in New York City.  You might be wondering how we never met if we went to the same H.S. and the answer is simple, he is younger than me and he was in lower grades when I was a Senior.  I’m sure many of you remember when you were Seniors, you didn’t really socialize with other students in lower grades.  However, the coincidences don’t just end there…  It turns out that my husband was friends with both my younger sister and brother back in school.  As a matter of fact, Hubby’s cousin was my sister’s best friend all through High School.  Hubby and my brother even had some of the same gym classes together.

    We continued having a long distance phone relationship for awhile which was just fine with me because I was able to focus on graduating from college without the pressures of having to focus on school and a boyfriend.  Initially, he would come home for a weekend every couple of months and we would spend the whole weekend spending time together and going out.  I even visited him in North Carolina and spent some time with him there.  It was just unbelievable to me that I was able to connect to a man that I had met on the internet in this way.  Believe me, I have always been an extremely skeptical and careful person and my perception of online dating included visions of registered sex offenders, serial killers, perverts, ex-convicts, wackos, and the like.

     Eventually, Hubby came home from the Army and we began to live together.  I was definitely not going to jump into anything serious like marriage due to my past experiences with getting hitched.  This was probably the best thing that we ever did because we really had the opportunity to get to know each other in a risk free situation.  After some time, he proposed to me and, against my better judgment, I agreed.  (You can read all about our unconventional wedding here:   Eleven Years Ago…  )The rest is history…  Here we are almost 12 years and two kids later, more in love than we have ever been, and the best of friends.  He never turned out to be a pervert or any of those things that come to mind when we think of meeting someone over the internet.  These past 12 years have been free of any kind of abuse, full of love and growth, and just beyond anything that I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams.

    Years ago, I was very discreet regarding the details surrounding how I met my husband.  I felt that there was a stigma attached to the fact that we met online.  Since then, I have had many friends who have participated in online dating sites and have found true love.  Now, I never intended to find love online and I have never had a problem meeting men in person.  Unfortunately, there are many people who have not had luck within the dating scene or don’t have time to date and have turned to these online dating sites and communities to assist them in meeting somebody.  I’m still not necessarily an advocate of looking for love online and I recognize that my experience was strangely unique.  However, there is something to be said about eliminating judgment when others share the ways that they look for love.  We all know how devastating loneliness can be so I say, live and let live.

© 2010, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.

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Comments

  1. Yes, it’s a great one!! Whatever way works, it’s worth it, I say.

    I met my better half online too 🙂
    http://adventuresinestrogen.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-man-catalogue-part-2.html

  2. I think its a new generation, many of my girlfriends who are over 30 are having a hard time meeting guys because people do not socialize in the traditional way. Many guys are in the house playing video games or with their guy friends somewhere else. People do not seem to have house parties any more or go to church seeking a mate.

    I think its great that you and your husband were able to get to know one another in such an unusual manner. It worked out in the end and that’s all that matters.

    • I agree with you that single people are not socializing in the same way anymore. Many people are finding true love on the internet, getting married, and starting families. There must be something valid in this equation…

  3. I’m so glad you were able to find the “one” online! I have a few friends who have also met their husbands online. It allowed them to get to know each other without the pressures they would have faced making their 1st meeting so much more magical!

    • Migdalia, it really did all of that pressure off of both of us. It also allowed us to talk and get to know each other before we actually met. What happened with my husband and I was coincidental but then I started finding out that a lot of my friends were deliberately looking to meet someone online. I actually have a lot of friends who are married to the men they met and that have beautiful relationships.

  4. Love, love, your story. I have always been a fan of online dating. Though I have not tried it, I am open to it. I think no matter what you use commom sense in dating. I’m heading over to read your wedding story. 🙂

    • Hi, Keva. I never realized how many people were engaging in online dating until I started becoming more open about how my husband and I met. You are so right, as long as you keep a good head on your shoulders when you are dating, that is all that really matters. I hope you enjoyed reading our wedding story…

  5. What a beautiful story. My husband and I met at a dance club. His friend was RUDELY rejected by my girlfriend and I was so impressed by how well he took it that when hubs asked me to dance I said yes. Lots of dancing, maybe 3 sentences of talking and now 12 years later here we are 🙂

    • Daria, it really is so funny how we ended up meeting the loves of our lives. I think you end up finding true love when you are not looking for it and it just happens. You guys must have gotten together around the same time that Hubby and I did because we will make 12 years together in February.

  6. Just came over from Mom Loop. I love hearing how couples meet and while I didn’t meet my husband online, I know plenty of people who have found the “one” through online dating. I think it’s just a great way to cut through the crap and get to the good stuff.

    • Melissa, that is a great way of looking at it. It really did allow us to cut through a lot of the pretense that exists when two people start dating. Thanks for passing by, it is great to meet you.

  7. JDaniel4's Mom says

    I met my husband online too. It was great to read your story.

    Stopping from Mom Loop!

  8. Beautiful story. I also married a guy I went to high school with. We have a 9 year old daughter together and are madly in love. I love your story. Online love should be a viable option for finding love.

    • Hi, Cheryl. You know it’s funny, we attended High School at the same time but we never crossed paths. I guess it was meant to be for us to meet years later. That is so wonderful that you guys are so in love after all these years. That is how you can tell that two people have really found true love, when they are still enamored with each other even after being together for a long time.

  9. Hi! You have a great blog! I’m here thanks to the Mommy Loop.
    My blog is http://www.LocalFunforKids. Check it out!

  10. Super romantic! Not only is there little stigma these days to couples meeting online, but I think it’s a healthy way for people to connect. You can test the waters and get the basic questions out of the way, before meeting in person. More importantly, I think distances are helpful to courtships. The relationship moves at a safer, saner pace and the “missing of the other” keeps the heat and interest going! Thanks for sharing the story of how you and your spouse first met.

    • You are so right, Dane. The stigma attached to online dating has diminished greatly in recent times. It definitely opens the door for meaningful and honest communication and for both parties to focus on the other’s attributes that really matter. “Absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder.” Having said that, however, I think people need to exercise caution and common sense in meeting people online as there are some dangers involved in this kind of activity. You are so welcome, I am so glad that you enjoyed reading the story…

  11. Great story. I met my guy on line, and we have a similiar story. Our paths crossed so many times. I am so used to meeting strangers, I’ve done that my whole life, that how I meet a stranger doesn’t really phase me. In some ways, meeting on line I think was better. Everything has its pros and cons. The way I look at it, I met my ex in person and he turned out to be a real psycho. So, it’s no guarantee.

    I’m happy it worked out for you and your hubby. The minute I met my fiance, I knew there was that certain spark.

    • Doreen, you have me chuckling to myself over here because I also met my ex-husband in person and he turned out to be a real winner too. Like with everything in life, there really is no guarantee… I am so glad that you found love again like I did because we are two great women who certainly deserve to be happy. Big hugs.

Trackbacks

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  2. Mari says:

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  4. Maria says:

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