Reach Out


     This is probably going to be one of my favorite posts because it revolves around one of my favorite things to do, blogging.    Ever since I was a little girl, I have known that I was a writer.  Nobody ever tells you to be a writer or gives you permission to be one, you just know you are one.  It is a passion that compels you to reach into the innermost crevices of  who you are and to share these thoughts and feelings, in written form, with just about anyone who will be receptive to them.

    Since I became a mother, seven years ago, I kind of put my writing on the back burner due to the overwhelming demands of being a mother, a wife, a full-time Middle School teacher, and the list goes on and on.  This is often what happens to us women when we have a lot on our plate, so to speak, we make sacrifices and put off doing the things that bring us personal joy to do the things that need to be done.  It’s almost as if we have a switch that goes off catapulting us into auto-pilot mode.

    Throughout this time, I have missed writing.  As a matter of fact, I missed it so much that I began to look for ways to incorporate it into my hectic schedule.  The result of this was an excessive amount of letter writing, list writing, emailing, and just about anything else that allowed me to express myself through the written word.  Unfortunately, none of that was rewarding and there was a volcano of thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions, gripes, loves, hates, and so many other things waiting to erupt forth from my entire being.

    Last year, I decided that it was imperative that I find an outlet for my creative genius because I had so much to share and I wasn’t really sure what the best way for me to share it was.  Ironically, the idea of writing a blog came to me one night while I was on Facebook and a notification popped up from a friend of mine recommending that I read the blog of one of her friends.  I immediately read it and thought, “I can so do this, it is exactly what I have been looking for.”  That evening I started my blog on Blogger and I never looked back.

   Writing a blog has been a learning experience in so many ways.  I was confident in my ability to write and what I thought to be my natural blogging talent.  What I wasn’t prepared for, however, was the amount of work involved in getting your blog and, in essence, your writing out to the masses.  I thought, “if I build it, they will come.”  Boy was I wrong!  The truth is that nobody is going to read your blog if you don’t put the time in to get the word out about it.  Also, nobody is going to take you at your word that they should just read your blog because you think it is great.  They will come and read it and make up their own minds or they will come based on the recommendation of someone else who thought your blog was great.

    This leads me to the people that I have met since I started blogging last year…I’m going to throw caution to the wind and say that my initial impression was that most bloggers blog because they are looking for a residual income or to receive free products.  I have since learned that this couldn’t be further from the truth.  While it is true that blogging can be very lucrative for some people, this is not the only driving force that keeps so many of them blogging.  It has been my pleasure to meet so many wonderful people who are candid about their lives and who they are and so brave in taking the risk to put themselves out there and be vulnerable to critique from others.  Their blogs are a labor of love upon which they pour their whole unveiled selves.

    As my blog has grown, I have settled into more of what I consider my “tribe” to be.  This group includes men and women who have similar reasons for blogging to mine and whom value the same things that I do which are family, family, and more family.  They truly are a selfless lot, sharing their blogging experiences with me, introducing me to one another, and pretty much welcoming me into the “family fold.”  We share victories, tragedies, and hopes and dreams daily with one another and, over time, have become a family ourselves.

    My goals, as a blogger, include surrounding myself with more tribe members who have similar interests and using our collaborative to support and promote each other.  I have witnessed, first hand the upward mobility and camaraderie that such a collective can achieve and I definitely want to be a part of it.  It is not enough for me to promote my own blog and my own writing.  By supporting the blogs and writing of others I am ultimately supporting my own.  In order to accomplish these goals, I will be reaching out more and more to other bloggers that I feel blog within my niche and I am just going to put myself out there even more than I normally do.  Wish me luck!

Kludgy Mom

© 2010, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.


  1. Themeditativemom says

    LOVE this post!! I con completely relate to everything said here. Thanks for articulating it.

  2. I am so glad that you liked it! I really dug deep to articulate exactly how I felt and it is great to get it off my chest. Thank you for following, it means so much to me.

  3. Before I even got to the end of this post I was reflecting on what the SITS girls have been saying about finding your tribe. Every time I come across another woman so much like myself (pointing at YOU) I am amazed that out in this big ol' world there are other women just like myself! I have also had a passion for writing all my life and only recently found this wonderful outlet.

  4. Amanda, it is this recognition that there are others out there who appreciate the same things that you do that fuels our writing. I can already tell that I am really going to enjoy communicating with you and sharing war stories. It is such a pleasure to meet you and to interact with you this way.

  5. Daria @mominmanagement says

    Love it! I just finished writing a post about blogging myself! Not nearly as eloquent as yours, but ultimately it poured out and came around to the same thing… blogging isn't about $ – it's about relationships, expressing yourself, and really just the community I've been lucky enough to stumble upon.

    Absolutely not what I expected a few months ago, but I'm hooked! So much fun and so rewarding.

    Thank you for your part in that.

  6. Love your blog! I am still new in the world of blogging and have let children, work, cats, dogs…..anything really… get in the way of keeeping my blog up to date. But…I am back ( with a vengence)! Still not entirely sure how to get my blog to more people- like you I have realised "If I build it, they will come" does not work! I shall take inspiration from you. So- huge pile of ironing, you will just have to wait-I have a blog to write! Kisses from Kate x

  7. It's a wonderful way to share ideas and inspire others. You have a lovely blog and I look forward to visiting often!

  8. Beautiful post, gal!!! With a plan, a tribe and a fairy blogmother, you're on your way! 🙂

  9. I feel exactly the same way. Blogging is definitely more time-consuming and it's harder to build an audience than I thought it would be. But I also wasn't expecting it to be so much fun and that the best part is the people that you "meet" that you otherwise wouldn't have.

  10. Lovely post Maria!

    Like yourself, I started blogging because I wanted an outlet for my thoughts. My first visitors were people I know personally and it wasn't the same. I wanted total strangers to visit my blog and hoped they would like what they see. It wasn't that easy to promote it and yes, it's hard work.

    Now I'm back to my real work and I have to stay disciplined if I want my blog to continue and to be a success. So far, I'm doing fine with updating. I just hope it remains that way. 🙂

  11. Hi, Kate. I am so glad that my post inspired you to jump right back into updating your blog. I think it is important to make time to post regularly so that your followers see that your blog is truly a labor of love for you. Believe me, I completely understand about everything always getting in the way! Lately, I stay up late to write on my blog because it is easier to do so after the kids go to bed. I end up paying for it the next day when I have to go to work. Let me know when you finish your latest post so I can pass by and check it out. Thank you for sharing.

  12. Thank you, Lala. I look forward to seeing you around these parts!

  13. Hi, Lynn. I completely agree with you, the best part is the added bonus of meeting so many great people with common interests.

  14. Thank you, Friend. I think you are right, there is a different sense of satisfaction when complete strangers tell you that you have done a good job. It's almost as if you expect family and friends to like it because they are supposed to since they care about you. Strangers will be honest and tell you the truth whether it is good or bad.

  15. Thank you, Gigi. I really appreciate all of the support and resources that you have selflessly shared with me and the other participants of b2sb2b. It has helped me nurture my blog so much and I will never forget it.

  16. Blogging is definitely a great outlet. I find myself having bloggable thoughts several times daily……I try to keep a list going so that when I come up with an idea I can just jot it down. I have thoroughly enjoyed the blogging community in my short life as a blogger; it is made up of some amazing writers. Today I was in a slight funk and at lunch opened a blog by Amy Blam…well I laughed so hard that I almost spit out my lunch. My mood was instantly changed due to this one little post.

    I definitely ADORE your blogs Tough Cookie Mom:) I also have very similar family and educational values as you do……this keeps me comin' back for more. Guess I am a tribe member!

  17. Hi, Tabitha. It makes me feel great that so many of you have been able to relate to this post. It was easy to "put myself out there" for all of you since you all are so honest with your posts and sharing your lives and experiences.

  18. You must be a mind reader because I have been thinking, for the past few days, that you were going to be a member of my tribe. It is obvious that we have a lot in common and I am excited to have someone like reading my blog. I know that you really relate to my posts and understand exactly where I am coming from. Here is to being sisters in the tribe. Please keep coming back, I am enjoying your feedback immensely.

  19. First of all I have to say that I LOVE the new look here! It looks great!
    I love blogging & writing! Even though it's not one of the things that I'm the best at. I still do it. The only thing is that I wish that I had more time to really focus on it.
    Even reading what others have to say is fun! It makes you realize that as moms we're all in the same boat!

  20. Blogging is definitely a lot more work than I thought. If you can sacrifice the time and energy, it's a wonderful outlet to get your thoughts out there, get feedback, build a support group, meet wonderful people. The list of positives can go on and on. Hey, that's how I met you!

  21. Wonderfully written! I think you'll do very well in the blogging world. You have a positive attitude and a talent for writing. 🙂

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud

  22. Thank you, Jackie! I really would like to have the whole blog redesigned by a professional soon, however, I want to save up the money and do it after I reach 100 followers. In the meantime, I did the best I could with some of the design skills I picked up from reading here and there. I am really glad that you like it. We are all definitely in the same boat since we are all Moms. It is great to have so many supportive people around who know exactly what you go through on a daily basis.

  23. Aww, you are so sweet for saying that. I am so glad that I met you too! You are right, the feedback and support are extremely helpful. The time and energy that we spend keeping up with our blogs is definitely worth the sacrifice.

  24. That is really nice, Kristi, and I really appreciate you saying that. If nothing else, at least I am having a great time and meeting great people. By the way, did you ever get to leave the house after the unfortunate "pooping" incident? Lol

  25. Jdaniel4smom says

    I love this post. You are right on in so many ways. I love that you are a mom looper. Joining Mom Loop and other tribes has given me a sense of blogging family. When I meet other bloggers who don't know and haven't heard of me or other blogs I follow, I remember in the back of my mind there are wonderful bloggers that do know who I am and I know who they are.

  26. So glad you found an outlet for your creative genius! And awesome that you have made your goals and that you are making them public for accountability!

    Stopping by from blogfrog.

  27. I am so glad that I am a Mom Looper too! I really have felt supported within that community. Knowing that I have such a strong base of bloggers who know my work and stand behind me really encourages me to continue blogging and networking.

  28. Thank you so much for the compliment. Maybe writing will begin to grow on you since you are doing it all the time just to keep your blog updated. I really appreciate the feedback and the fact that you stopped by.

  29. I'm glad that you decided to drop by! You are definitely becoming a fast member of my tribe as I greatly enjoy interacting with you and your wife. I think it is fantastic that you are both blogging and that you can share this experience with one another. Have a wonderful weekend!

  30. This has definitely been an outlet for my creative genius. Hopefully, I will be able to keep up with my goals despite my packed schedule with work, the kids, the house, etc. As I'm sure you well know, this is no easy task. Glad you came through…

  31. I love @avantgparenting! She was so sweet to mention me and it was so sweet that you decided to follow and check out my blog. I'm glad that you are enjoying your blogging experience because it really has been amazingly enjoyable for me. Thank you for passing by, come back anytime.

  32. Love the new look Maria. And love that you have met your initial blogging goal. You have a very clear blogging voice – an honest style that obviously appeals to a genuine group of fellow bloggers. I enjoy your topics, and while my children are now older I still relate to many of your topics and hope that what I can contribute to discussions is still seen of value. Love dropping by as a newbie to the blogging world who is still finding her own blogging direction:) CIao

  33. Hi Tough Cookie Mom — you just RT something that @erinlynn76 sent about my blog, so I had to come check you out. So glad I did! I am also glad you answered the call to blog. I think some of us are born to be writers, and thank God for this medium. Keep it up!

  34. Hi, Pamela, I am so glad that you decided to check me out! Erin is my "Fairy Blogmother" which is just a fancy way of saying that she is my blogging mentor. She is a wonderful Lady and I value her feedback and advice immensely. Thank you for your kind words, I am also glad that I decided to use this medium to get back into my passion for writing. I am thrilled to make your acquaintance and that you are following. Please come back anytime!

  35. Hey! I'm behind on the B2S/B2B assignment from this week. Great post!

  36. Hi, Jennifer, I'm glad you liked it. Let me know when you catch up so I can pass by and check your post out…

  37. This is really a great post! I'm so glad to have found your blog through B2SB2B. You write beautifully and I love how open and engaging you are to other bloggers. I enjoyed our little chats on Twitter and I wish your blog to grows and blossoms. 🙂

  38. Maria,

    I'm just returning the support to my fellow Bronx girl. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love how you are already putting into practice your goal to support other blogs by reaching out to other bloggers.

    I totally agree that having that "family" or community of bloggers is such a benefit and important too as a blogger and as a writer. Just in the short time that I have been blogging, I've seen the benefits of having a support group/community behind me. Something I didn't quite expect when I started blogging.

    I can totally relate to you about writing — so true, it is a passion. And being a mom of 3 kids myself, it is easy to put it on the backburner. One reason why I started blogging…to help me consistently nurture and fuel that passion and not ignore it.

    Love your post (and the look of your blog). Thanks for sharing!


  1. Maria says:

    This just might be my best blog post to date. Week 3 post #b2sb2b Reach Out

  2. Ashley says:

    RT @ToughCookieMom: This just might be my best blog post to date. Week 3 post #b2sb2b Reach Out

  3. Maria says:

    Reach Out:    
         This is probably going to be one of my favorite posts because it revolves around one of my fa…

  4. Maria says:

    @Gigi927, you really challenged me to put my all into this post! Week 3 post #b2sb2b Reach Out

  5. Katrina says:

    Awesome Post!! RT @toughcookiemom Tough Cookie Mommy: Reach Out

  6. Great post! RT @toughcookiemom Tough Cookie Mommy: Reach Out

  7. Maria says:

    Reach out to your fellow bloggers. NEW POST Tough Cookie Mommy: Reach Out

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