I have come to the conclusion, lately, that I spend a tremendous amount of time worrying. There never seems to be a moment when I am not preoccupied worrying about one thing or another. Now, I don’t think that I am irrational in worrying about some of the things that I have on my mind daily. They include worrying about my sons, the bills, the economy, health issues, family members, work, etc. I’m not sure if worrying just comes with the territory of being a Mom, wife, and a careerwoman or if it is a symptom of the fact that I have too many things on my plate. Hopefully, it is the previous reason and not the latter one.
Sometimes, I feel like I don’t have enough time to devote to the activities that I enjoy, such as writing this blog. There is always something going on that I’m sure I need to address first or that I need to worry about. One particular issue that has concerned me lately is the state of the economy. I’m almost positive that I am not the only one who worries about this among those of us who have children and families. Fortunately, I have a good job with a certain amount of job security. However, I still have concerns about the security of mine and my husband’s jobs during such uncertain times. It seems like news reports daily are focused on the ever increasing unemployment rate, the dismal state of the real estate market, and the recession slump that is definitely affecting everyone.
When does being concerned and worrying become excessive? I really don’t have the answer to this question because I’m not sure how much other parents are worrying about the same issues that I am and to what extent this worrying is affecting them personally. Nobody seems to care how the state of the economy is affecting regular, working class families. Everything you hear is about investors, Wall Street, and how the government has had to bail out big corporations because they bit off way more than what they could chew. I’m wondering when they are finally going to address how corporate greed has led to the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression and how working families are being affected by it…
© 2010, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.
It seems only natural to worry these days. The best remedy I know of is gratitude. When I can turn that worry into being so incredibly thankful for all that I do have (especially with everything going on in the world) it puts the worries at ease. Also helpful to think about what we actually have control over and what we do not. Where we have no control, let go.
Charlene, I always love hearing your perspective on things. You are absolutely right, we all need to definitely devote most of our energy on being grateful for the positive things that we have in our lives. On a personal level, I need to work on letting things go that are outside of my realm of control. Not such an easy feat…
I'm a worrier too. Motherhood definitely aggravated my "condition," but worry or anxiety is part of my nature. I know other mothers who don't worry at all, until there's something really big to worry about. Most times I can calm it myself, but when it overwhelms me and begins interfering with my ability to live my everyday life, I get help.
Linda, it is definitely part of my nature too. I also know mothers who never worry at all. Personally, I don't think that is good either. I have a friend who lets her small children wander all over the park, even if they move away from where she can see them. She claims that she is not concerned about them wandering out of the park or leaving with another adult because she has taught them not to do that. That is a little too "worry free" for my tastes. I guess we all have to find a happy middle ground as parents…
I worry about everything, too, so I feel your pain! I think it comes with parenthood, although I admit I was a bit of a worry wart before my daughter came along… I think it's just part of my nature. A happy middle ground is the way to go – and something I strive for every day. Great blog… and thanks for checking mine out, too! 🙂
Thanks, Ellen! You are absolutely right, worrying is something that comes with parenthood. I guess we wouldn't be good parents if we didn't engage in a certain amount of worrying…I love your blog, also. We have a lot in common being two Moms raising children in the city.
I'm not a worrier toafay and although I once was one the turn around was provoked by serious threats to my gealth and life. I have been twice so close to death that I was pronounced "gone". When one has a terminal disease and is preapring to depart there is no focus on past events and no projection on future events. One embraces "the now moment" and experiences deep gratitude that they can share these moments with those they love.
For me letting go of my attachments to specific outcomes and my aversion to other outcomes is a daily practice. IIt's only in the meditation state that I experience true consciousness. It's onlu in that state that I can escape the machniations of my monkey mind that is continually inventing scenarios that are not likely to take place, and that I most assuredly do not want to become self fulfilling prophecies.
It's my opinion that we cannot become worriers when we are in "the now moment". That only happens when we mull over past events and invent new endings, or when we project future events. So whether you choose walking meditation, sitting meditation or mindfullness as your meditation practice I do encourage you to develop a meditation practice and experience complete relaxation and perfect peace and contentment.
Thank you so being so gonest in your post and for provding me an opportunity to sgare my antidote to worry.
Peace and love be unto thee,
TiTi
TimeThief, I cannot begin to tell you how appreciative I am that you commented to this post in such a personal and authentic way. I think that you hit the nail on the head in stressing the importance of living in the moment. I, myself, have had too many experiences where it became painfully obvious that, although we are here today, we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Your words soothed me and I am definitely going to make a conscious effort to spend less time worrying about things that are completely out of my hands to control.
'm so glad to hear that you valued my comment. I hope your other commenters were not annoyed by my typos and do not think poorly of me because of them so thanks for being so gracious and focusing on the content rather than the errors.
The "g" key on the keyboard and the "h" key are side by side. I did not learn how to touch type before the head injury and now I am learning on a keyboard that has no letters at all on the keys. I'm learning to type by position recall and this is not easy. However, we all face challenges and it's how we respond to them and overcome them that counts in this life.
There are many things we cannot control but we can learn how to control and direct our thoughts. You have a wonderful husband and two beautiful sons and a job. Remain focused on being grateful what you have in the now moment. Celebrate every small victory you have when you do not attach your focus to bad case scenarios that your monkey mind produces and I guarantee the worrying will be reduced. My gratitude practice includes spending a little time every morning and night recounting what and who I am grateful for.
Love,
TiTi
That is a good blog Maria, interesting ideas.My children are grown now, but when they were growing up I was always worried about them. I raised my kids with lots of prayer. But looking back, I would things different. I would enjoy everyday with them and I would trust God to take care and protect us instead of worrying so much. Nancy