Gone Too Soon…

    Last night, I attended what could possibly be one of the most horrible events of my life up until this point.  I attended the wake of my dear friend’s three year old daughter.  Never in my life have I felt such sadness or felt my heart breaking in that way.  As I sit here writing this post, I have to fight back the urge to cry because I am physically and emotionally exhausted and I don’t even have the energy to shed anymore tears.

    This Angel has been battling a chronic medical disorder for the past two years, however, she was on the road to recovery and was actually gaining back a lot of the normal things that three year olds are supposed to be engaged in.  It seems that a hospital error in administering anesthesia for a routine MRI catapulted her into crisis and these complications eventually took her life.  This life that was brand new and ready to take on the world at a moment’s notice. 

    What do you even say to someone who loses their three year old child?  Believe me, I do not have the answer to that question.  I thought it best to say the least possible and just to provide moral support for my friend lest I say the wrong thing in my clumsy attempt to comfort her.  It became quickly evident that I had made the right decision as I saw others fumbling with their words and comments and noticed her reaction at their words.  There is nothing that you can say to the mother of a child who is furious with God for taking away her baby that is going to make her feel better.

    I just keep reflecting on the fact that her and I were pregnant at the same time.  Our children were six months apart in age.  We attended each others’ baby showers and birthday parties.  This is all I have been able to think about as I look at my youngest son and prepare to celebrate his fourth birthday at the end of this month, God willing.  I know these thoughts were in her mind too because the first thing that she said to me at the viewing was, “I guess you are not going to get that daughter in law.”  This was a running joke between us that our children were going to get married since we had shared so many things throughout our pregnancies and subsequent births of our children.

    My heart goes out to my friend and her husband as they prepare to embark on this new normal without their precious princess by their sides.  As a mother, I feel the screams of horror bubbling up inside of me at the mere thought of a parent’s worst nightmare.  Let’s face it, losing a child is the worst thing that could possibly happen to anyone.  This is not the way that nature is supposed to be, parents are supposed to be buried by their children, not the other way around.

    I’m sure that she is thinking of all the endless possibilities that could have been the life of this child.  The world was her oyster!  She was an intelligent and precocious child who loved to bake, paint, do puzzles, and debate with her parents.  Her favorite things were bubbles and band-aids.  She didn’t like birthday parties and preferred ice cream over cake.  This is the legacy of a precious life cut too short.  She will never grow up and get married, have babies, graduate from school, have her heart broken, or know what it is to fall in love.

    Oh, but she certainly had a profound impact on the lives of anyone who had the pleasure and priviledge to know her.  Such a little person, she packed a whole lot of living into her short life.  My heart is broken today.  It is broken for Katelynn who was taken from us too soon.  It is broken for her parents who will forever be devastated over the loss of their Angel.  It is broken for her teenage brother who, at such a young age, already knows the pain of loss. 

    I cannot stress enough the importance of loving and appreciating every single day as if it were your last.  In my profession, as a teacher, I cannot even begin to tell you how much wasted time I see.  Children are a gift that are sent to us to nurture, love, and protect.  Too often, we get wrapped up in work and other responsibilities and we forget to stop and appreciate the people and things that really matter.  If you get anything out of my blog and my thoughts it should be that we should appreciate our loved ones here and now and not put letting them know how we feel about them for later.  Later is a precious commodity that is not guaranteed to us.

© 2010, Tough Cookie Mommy. All rights reserved.


  1. My heart sank reading this post of urz….truly loosing a child is the scariest thing EVER fr a parent!!

  2. There are no words… so so sad.

  3. I am so so sorry my friend – my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours at this time of loss. xxx

  4. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers, they really mean the world to me.

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