Raising Siblings

My 6 year old son received his report card yesterday and he has a 98 average. Yes, that’s right, a 98 average! I honestly think that my son is a genius. Now, before you start shaking your head and thinking that there is no way to determine that with a 6 year old, let me tell you that I have put a lot of thought into this…

First of all, you would be surprised at all of the work that they give these days in first grade. He has a Spelling test every single Friday of about 15 sight words. He also has an hour of homework every night and more tests in Phonics, Math, Religion, and Penmanship weekly. He has been getting 100s consistently on all of his tests. There is a price to pay for all of this brilliance, however, as he does not know how to be quiet in class. According to his teacher, he has so much to offer and is so bright that she suspects it fuels his desire to converse so much.

Being a Middle School teacher, myself, I wonder if he will always do this well in school or will he fall off the wagon like most boys do when they reach adolescence? My experience has been that most boys who excelled in school on the Elementary level, begin to decline academically once they reach puberty. Now, I don’t have any scientific data to support my theory, just a whole lot of years of teaching teenagers.

Another thing that I wondered today is what will I do if both of my children don’t end up being on the same level academically? I’m sure that is exactly what will happen because all children are different and some of them are more gifted academically than others. Will teachers always compare them in school? I try not to compare siblings that I have had in my class but I can’t help to compare and contrast them in my mind. Will I, as a parent, mentally compare my two children?

My two sons couldn’t be more different. They look completely different from each other and have totally different personalities. I cannot make any assumptions about my little one academically as he is only three years old. However, I can tell you that he is very intelligent and articulate. He is just more authoritative than my older one who is more laid back and easygoing.

I am truly enjoying their development as individuals although I have a lot of parenting questions that I’m sure will answer themselves over time. It is so important to me that I foster and encourage them as two separate individuals. I’m not sure if it is possible to do this successfully without making even the slightest comparison. I recall my parents comparing us to each other when we were kids and I have seen even the most well meaning parents make subtle comparisons between their children. I wonder what the key to avoiding this parenting faux pas is…

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  1. This is an age old dilemma…my elder sis is a complete whiz wen it comes to studies!! I'm good but not great….and wenevr my mom used to say tht I shud be more like my sis i got so irritated!

    Truth be told, even I keep this thought in my mind tht I will not be comparing my kids BUT tht remains to be seen!

    Awesome write-up!

  2. You are a very caring intelligent and awesome parent 🙂
    this blog post was something really personal..but it shows how well you balanced the emotions!!

  3. @Saadi-They always compared my sister and I in school. Luckily for me, I was always good in school but I know my sister always felt bad when they asked her why she wasn't getting better grades like I was. I agree with you, this is definitely something that you carry with you into adulthood. That is why I am trying to be more aware of this when it comes to my own children. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences.

    @Sorcerer-Thank you so much for your kind words. This was a personal parenting thought that I figured was important enough to share with some of my other readers who are parents. I try my best but parenthood is something that you keep learning as you go along.

  4. Good Morning!
    I have twin girls (12 years old), ok they are not identical twins but they are sooooo different it is almost hard to consider them as sisters! The differences are in every aspect- looks, character, tastes and academic ability! One hardly does any work and sails through every exam with 90% and the other works her socks off just to get through exams. The latter finds this very unfair! got to admit i think it is pretty unfair too but "C'est la vie"!!

  5. Congratulation you are doing a excellent job as a mother and congratulation on your son too, he deserve this for his hard work

  6. Hi, Kate. Isn't it amazing how two siblings can be so different? I am experiencing the same thing with my two sons, they are two individuals. It is unfair that one of your daughters is able to sail through school while the other one struggles. I guess it is just important to praise both of them so they both feel successful and confident.

  7. Thank you, Merlin. I am certainly trying to do the best job possible. You are right, my son does definitely deserve this for his hard work. Santa will be very good to him this year, wink, wink.

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