Anger and Confusion

Today is Kenny’s burial. I was not able to attend the wake yesterday afternoon because I had to stay with my sons in order to allow my husband to attend. It was sad that I was unable to go but it had to be that way since we had no babysitter and only one of us could attend. When my husband returned and handed me the mass card from the funeral home, with Kenny’s picture on it, I could not help but to break down in tears. At that moment, I felt so angry with him for taking his own life. I couldn’t help but feeling that it was such a selfish act on his part because now he is gone and we are all left here to wonder “why” and to mourn the loss. His young child will never know what a truly amazing father he had nor will his sister’s unborn baby know him either.
It just seems so senseless…I cannot get over the fact that I have lost such a great friend in such a violent and tragic way. He will never again be a phone call away. We will never hear his laughter or see his smile. Suicide is devastating on those that are left behind and I just cannot make any sense of it at all.

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  1. Maria,
    I'm soo sorry for the loss of your dear friend, my deepest sympathies to you and your husband. I lost my mom to suicide when she was 31 and I had just turned 13. There never is any closure in this situation, and it's really unfortunate. I hope that you can find some way to make peace with his decision.
    Hugs to you all.

  2. Jamie,
    Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate them. I am so sorry that you had to experience such a loss as well. It is just so devastating and frustrating.
    Hugs right back at you,

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