This evening I was watching a popular reality television show when I found myself sadly wondering why women put up with men who cheat. In this particular episode, a man has three kids with three different women and they are all arguing with each other due to him. The thing that troubled me the most about this whole situation is that the ones who lose out in this fiasco are the children. As siblings, they should all be raised around each other or, at the very least, know each other. Since the mothers can’t seem to get along, it doesn’t seem like this will ever be possible.
Even more galling is that, while these women argue with each other, this man is like a spectator who is watching a show being acted out on stage. Some of you might argue that this just happens on television but I beg to differ. Time after time, I see familial situations like this one where women are devaluing their worth for the “privilege” of being with a man. It brings me back to my childhood when my Grandma used to tell me “No man is an island.” I didn’t completely understand what she meant back then but I do now. There are way too many men on this planet to be stuck with one who doesn’t respect you.
I wonder what motivates these women to negatively compete with one another in the name of love. Is this what we are teaching children in our society, that love is supposed to hurt and make you feel like less of a person? As an educator, I realize that this self-destructive behavior stems from having poor self-worth and from the relationships that we viewed growing up between our parents or family members. It stands to reason that if you don’t love yourself or if you don’t think you deserve to be loved and treated well, you will accept toxic relationships as the norm.
Aside from raising awareness about this topic on my blog, the only other way that I can contribute to stopping this cycle of behavior is by raising my sons to value women and to accept their responsibilities as men. On the other hand, those of you who are raising daughters need to instill this pride and self-love in them from early on so they will have higher standards for themselves with regards to their relationships with men.
Only then, will we raise women who will not put up with this type of nonsense. Instead, they will say to themselves, “I am worth more than that and I love myself enough to walk away from someone or something that does not add value to my life.”
Let’s Discuss: Why do you think women put up with these types of relationships?
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