I have always felt that family was the most important thing in my life. Like most of you, I come from a pretty close-knit family with our share of problems but that always looked out for each other when the going got tough. That’s just the way it has always been, my crazy family, but my family nonetheless.
Now that I am an adult, it has become more complicated to keep those close family ties with all of the things that get in the way. Things are not as simple as they used to be where I could just bicker with my siblings and we would make up before any one of us had time to dwell on why we had argued in the first place. There are other people involved in these discussions now that we are all married with kids.
As a result, it seems like everyone is just out for themselves now. Family is not defined the same way it was when we were growing up. I’m not really sure what the exact moment was when things changed. Perhaps every family is destined to become distant with one another once the pressures of adulthood take over on a daily basis.
The truth is that I lack the energy or the desire to go back and mend these fences. Too many things have happened and too much has been said to even think about going back to a happier time. It’s not my job to make others feel better about themselves or to be the picking post for people to vent through their issues. Sometimes I think family members feel that they are entitled to that because you are their blood so you are supposed to take that from them.
The worst part is when the children in the family are catapulted into the petty squabbles of the adults in the family. When do adults hit rockbottom to the point that they have to use children as ammunition to get their point across? I’m not sure that I have any of these answers. What I am sure of is that my feelings about family have not changed, it is my family that has changed around me.
All I could do is continue to instill family values in my sons and to have them learn how to communicate positively with one another so they don’t make the same mistakes as their ancestors. I would never want them to be divided and not speak to each other because of their spouses or due to petty nonsense. Being family means much more than that…
Let’s discuss. How have your relationships with your family members changed over the years? Is blood thicker than water?
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