Posted By Tough Cookie Mommy on October 15, 2010

   
    This morning, I was driving to work when some moron guy jumped into my lane without signaling, made me veer my car off the road, and practically killed me.  It was the proverbial “David versus Goliath” situation since he was driving a Suburban and I drive a Toyota Rav4.  Those of you who know a little something about cars know that his car was about three times the size of my car.  One moment we are driving parallel to each other on the parkway and the next moment he barrels into me and almost causes me to have a heart attack.

    Now, his car did not hit mine thanks to my cat-like reflexes.  However, it did shake me up pretty badly since it happened so quickly.  Now, normally, I would have stopped my car, gotten out, and cursed him out so badly that his mother felt it as I have been known to engage in the occassional road rage melee.  This time was different, though, because I have been trying to not waste my energy on cursing out other drivers who got their drivers’ licenses out of Cracker Jack boxes.  So I kept driving and just stuck my arm out the window and raised it up in the air as if to say,

“What was that?”

    He must have been as shook up as I was or just ashamed at his poor driving skills because he slowed down behind me and practically crept up next to me as I was stopped for a red light.  I looked over at him and he opened his window and gestured to me to open mine.  How could I resist?  I slowly opened my window and he said to me,

 “I’m so sorry.  I guess I must still be half asleep.” 

Now, in my mind I’m thinking,

 ”Of all the lame, moronic, idiotic excuses, bleep, bleep, bleep, curse word here, bleep…” 

I couldn’t believe that that was the best thing that he could come up with after ruining my perfectly good Thursday morning by almost squashing me like a bug with his vehicular equivalent of a fly swatter!  So, I just answered,

“Yeah, you scared the sh*t out of me…”

Those of you who are gasping at my use of profanity understand that I was really shook up.  Plus, I have never said, on this blog, that I don’t swear.  As a matter of fact, I have been told I curse like a truck driver.  However, I digress…

    In the end, I was really proud of myself that I did not curse this guy out and that I accepted his apology in a somewhat ladylike fashion.  We both just drove off when the light turned green and went about our business.  I can assure you that, had he hit my baby, there would be a different ending to this blog post.  After all, never mess with a Mom who is driving to work, did not have any coffee yet, hardly got any sleep, and just spent the entire morning fighting with a four and seven year old so they would get ready for school.  That is just playing Russian Roulette with your life.

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