Posted By Tough Cookie Mommy on November 12, 2009

Today was pretty uneventful except for the fact that it was extremely cold here in the Big Apple. I had a pretty good day at work and managed to come home in a great mood. As I usually do, I greeted my sons immediately upon entering my house and conversed with them about their day and how they were doing.

My three year old, Ethan, noticed that I had a sticker on my shirt and proceeded to ask me who had given me the sticker and why was I wearing it on my shirt. I explained to him that my friend at work had given it to me because she knew that I loved “My Little Pony” when I was a little girl. It was very obvious that he immediately wanted the sticker for himself because he is a sticker addict and loves to collect stickers wherever he goes.

I asked him if he wanted the sticker and he looked over at my husband and then back at me. Knowing my husband and my son as much as I do, I realized that he was looking to his father for approval and permission due to the fact that the sticker had “girlie” cartoon characters on it. This has been an ongoing point of parenting disagreement between my husband and myself for years.

You see, as an educator, I understand the value of allowing children to express their individuality and the importance of not establishing preconceived gender roles that children can be steretyped into. It is healthy for little girls to play with toy trucks and toy soldiers and it is also healthy for little boys to play with dolls and play house. Unfortunately, my husband prescribes to the prehistoric, machismo way of thinking that boys should be manly and never, ever play with things that are “for girls.”

My husband and I are the products of a cultural background that frowns on boys crying and being emotional. Obviously, I am a woman so have never entertained that hogwash. To my husband’s credit, he shows our sons a lot of affection and allows them to express themselves emotionally despite how he was raised. He is much more evolved than his male ancestor counterparts. However, a sticking point for him is the whole issue of allowing boys to play with what he perceives to be “girl” toys. I have grown tired of explaining to him that allowing our sons to play with dolls will not take away from their manhood in the future.

Perhaps I am having a positive impact on him because he looked back at my son today and told him that it was perfectly fine if he wanted to put the “My Little Pony” sticker on his own shirt. Of course, that is all the encouragement that my son needed because he ripped it off my shirt and proudly wore it on his chest for the rest of the evening. That may not seem like much to you guys but, I can tell you all, it was a huge step for my husband to succumb to allowing either one of his sons to wear a “My Little Pony” sticker. This truly was a monumental event in our home. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks…

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Categories: Parenting
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